"The Curse of Carlton" was only one of the many disturbing things on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Season 4 Episode 13 - but where do we even begin?
We'll try and recap it all in our TVF +/- review....
So, one moment Carlton is hugging Kyle Richards and saying how they are starting fresh…
…and the next she's accusing her of talking behind her back and disrespecting her religion because of a dream. Seriously? Minus 22.
It. Was. A. Dream!!!
It didn't really happen. Carlton, it's all in your head, literally….Now please don't cast a spell on me for pointing that out.
Wasn't it funny how Joyce's staunch belief in the strength of God crumbled to dust the moment her husband had a tummy ache. Plus 15 for the irony but I have to ask, does she think the negativity that entered her home was the Norovirus or Carlton's curse?
And a word of advice to Joyce. It never pays to screw with things you can't explain…or insult an angry witch.
No matter what you think of Carlton's religious beliefs, she certainly throws a unique party complete with painted naked women serving drinks and pole dancers. Plus 27. This isn't your normal, boring Beverly Hills affair.
As Brandi put it, Carlton is "kind of like no bullsh*t, balls to the wall." No wonder these two have bonded.
Plus 25 for sending the kids to grandma's for the night.
In the end, I think Kyle put it best. "I won't be asking her to help with the bat mitzvah."
Kim Richards skipped the party to end up with people that made Carlton's shindig look almost normal.
The Hollywood Collector's show was an odd assortment of washed up stars and their even stranger fans, starting with former teen heartthrob Jimmy McNichol. When he asked Kim why they never dated all I could think was, because you are super sleazy!
Since he grabbed her ass and roared like a lion back in high school, I'm guessing he's always been that way. Minus 45.
And I'm not even sure I can relive the werepuppy incident without having nightmares. Kim was far braver than I would have been. I wouldn't have touched that creepy little creature. Minus 21.
Kudos to Kyle for her guest stint on Days of Our Lives. I'm a fan of the show and thought she did quite well over the few days she was there and it was such fun to get to see these little behind the scenes clips. Plus 18.
The rest was boring Housewives nonsense. Lisa Vanderpump continued to over-mother Brandi about her bruised hand. Minus 23. Brandi's a grown woman. If she doesn't want to go see a doctor that's her business.
Lisa blowing off Yolanda's get together at the last minute was rude. And whether you're a fan of her painting party idea or not, I'd go just to be able to sit there and look at that view of the ocean. Breathtakingly gorgeous! Plus 50. It makes the entire show worth watching.
Episode total = +24 Season total = -58!
So TV Fanatics, do you think Carlton really put a curse on Joyce?
C. Orlando is a TV Fanatic Staff Writer. Follow her on Twitter.