I wasn’t able to celebrate St. Patrick’s Day tonight, but thanks to 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 19, I feel like I was out at a party drinking green beer and having a grand old time.

I missed Deke, but hey, you can’t blame the guy for wanting to go snowboarding with his family.

If he’d been around, he would have had to struggle through the rough evening Max and Caroline did in their efforts to enjoy the holiday.

Watch 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 19 Online

You’d think selling green cupcakes would’ve raked in a ton of cash for the girl, but alas, they only had a few bills to their name when their work was through.

That immediately put Caroline in a bad mood, but Max was ready to put it behind them and get straight to the St. Patty’s Day hijinks.

Caroline: Are the owner of this establishment?
Blarney Bill: I’m not even the owner of these pants!

• Permalink: I’m not even the owner of these pants!

Unfortunately, those hijinks started in a cab on a crowded street with Oleg alternately screaming at the driver to go faster and trying to peddle his wares out the window. I thought that the episode was going to turn into one of those where they spend the whole time in the car and miss the party, but luckily it didn’t.

Things got a lot more fun at the bar, at least for Max. She didn’t let stinky/wet/kissing men or puking girls ruin her evening, but Caroline wanted to relive her glory days and insisted they leave the craziness to head to the Plaza.

I’ve hit some very low points today, but I’m not about to pee through a paper penis in public.

Caroline

• Permalink: I’ve hit some very low points today, but I’m not about to pee through a paper penis in public.

Of course, that was after she was caught trying to pee into a cup behind a float, so I guess she can’t be blamed for seeking a higher class celebration. In the end though, she learned that her old life wasn’t nearly as fun as she thought it was.

They also learned that Han really can get laid in a leprechaun outfit. Who knew?

Drunk Chick: Guys, I just threw up.
Caroline: And you're carrying it around like a baby chick?

• Permalink: And you're carrying it around like a baby chick?

My favorite bits:

• Max putting green icing on anything she could find, including some potatoes.
• Han in his leprechaun costume. And the fact that he thought he was going to get laid in it. Excuse me for a second…. *collapses into laughter*
• Knowing that Max was going to ask to buy one of Oleg’s shirts as soon as she called it revolting. It’s kind of wrong how easily I can predict what she’s going to do.
• Wincing when Oleg talked about painful paper cuts and his pee funnel thing. Youch.
• Poor Caroline telling her “wild” story about filling balloons with champagne.
• Early leading a bagpipe group.
• Han and Caroline both protesting the 10-block walk.
• Max charging drunk chicks to take pictures with Han. Brilliant.
• Caroline repeatedly getting kissed by Blarney Bill.
• Max accepting purse chicken to kiss Han.
• Knowing that the float was going to move as soon as Caroline went behind it to pee. Knowing it didn’t stop me from laughing my arse off, though.
• Max refusing to let Caroline feel sad.
• Max and Caroline finding places to sit… on the firemen.

Which St. Patrick’s Day party would you prefer?