Jep showed off a toilet seat trailer hitch accessory embroidered with his own name on Duck Dynasty Season 5 Episode 8.
But we digress. That just seemed worth mentioning.
Wrestling, to rednecks, is a soap opera.Jase
I have found ticks in my whiskers.Phil
What was the line to make you say 'I think I'll spend the rest of my life with a guy from Florida?Phil
Normally, I would be concerned about Willie getting hurt. But I have not seen Willie exercise this much since he stopped doing the TaeBo videos in the living room. And I think those were on VHS too.Korie
She was looking for a man who was not from the Paleolithic era, if you know what I mean.Gordon
I like sheep.Miss Kay
The duck call room is actually a combination of science, innovation and art, all coming together. We are like a rednecked NASA. We are boldly going where no redneck has gone before.Jase
They're not mad. These cows are crazySi
Missiles are coming out the rear ends of these animals that can provide a lot of opportunity for your children.Phil
If there's not a bone protruding through your skin, or you're not bleeding from an orifice, you'll be OK.Jase
That's my crapper.Jep
You like a full-figured TV like you like a full-figured woman.Kay
Jep: So, by your logic, it's too fun.
Jase: Yep. It's the childhood equivalent of a strip mall.
Ice cream is not a legitimate perk.Jase
The grandkids want me to talk to them on the phone, with text, and I don't know how to do it.Kay
Hey, I'm a math man.Si
Decoupage is the perfect way to relax.Jessica
Decoupage. It's a French word. I know it sounds kinda dirty.Jep
You don't mix nail guns and medication. That's just not smart.Martin
One time, Jase even said he was better at flippin' channels.Wilie
I donât need baskets. Thatâs what women do.Jase
I love bringing old things back to life.Kay
What are y'all doing? Why ainât y'all working?Willie
When I hear a sound that's particularly unpleasant, I gotta put a stop to it.Jase
You need a weapon? Give me a flip-flop and a Big League Chew.Si
You ever seen a dead animal in the road? That's the way your brain will look.Phil
The key to telling a scary story - throw a little realism in there.Phil
As a hunter, I think this is one of the most enjoyable kills I've ever had.Jase
She was a looker. Like them chicks on The Weather Channel, you know what I'm sayin.Phil
It's easier to maintain the monotony of putting together duck calls when you're a little loopy.Jase
The crux of this installment centered on Jep only having one day to build his kids a playhouse, yet outsourcing that project to the warehouse workers due to his injured wrist.
Simple enough, right? Wrong.
With Jep asleep, Jase, Godwin and Martin built… well… something. It looked sort of like a fort, sort of like a duck blind. Actually, Phil got it right when he said it looks "like something you throw the prisoners in when you want to punish them for about a month."
And Jess was displeased with this solitary confinement-like structure.
Elsewhere, Willie, Phil and Si were brushing a ton of duck blinds (64, to be exact) as a penance for oversleeping on the first day of duck season last year.
That would be akin to Derek Jeter oversleeping for baseball's opening day, wouldn't it? Yes, that's the first-ever comparison of Willie Robertson and Derek Jeter.
Si didn't do much as quality control, sitting around while giving Willie a hard time and making him feel like a child.
In the end, Jep reverted back to Plan A, hiring a crew to build a fantastic playhouse/swing set ("yuppie move," according to Phil.), while Phil got Willie to haul Jase's original contraption away to the river bank.
Yup, there's duck blind number-65!