Last week, on The Real Housewives of Orange County, Heather and Tamra decided to ask Vicki about her relationship with Brooks while the three had dinner in Hawai'i.
Tonight - on The Real Housewives of Orange County Season 9 Episode 2 - we'll get some answers about Vicki's Love Tank.
Or, if we know Vicki at all, we'll get evasive non-answers full of double-speak. Which totally means she and Brooks are doing the dirty and keeping it on the downlow.
And now I need to bleach my brain for thinking such thoughts. But before I do that, here's our TVF +/- review...
"So if you are happy, where does Brooks fall into all this?" Tamra asks.
"Well, he's part of my happiness." Vicki and Brooks are still dating and she's not lying about it. Minus 100.
They both went to counseling separately, and Vicki's counselor advised her to see Brooks if she wants to see Brooks. Despite the fact that he said HORRIBLE THINGS about her daughter. Brooks' counselor advised him to stick to a two-drink maximum to avoid saying those things again.
Tamra and Heather say they're willing to give Brooks another chance if he makes Vicki happy. Vicki says she and Brooks have thought about moving in together and if Brianna won't visit while he's there, that's her choice.
"I don't know what to do. If anybody has an answer, call me" Vicki says, in an interview. VICKI! THE WORLD HAS BEEN TELLING YOU WHAT TO DO! Minus 25.
Don't date Brooks!
Vicki goes to the bathroom and Heather asks Tamra what she believes about what Vicki just said. Tamra says she doesn't trust Brooks at all but she just thinks this has to play out and eventually Vicki will realize this is all a terrible mistake.
Here's hoping Tamra's right.
Vicki and Tamra try to get Heather drunk and out of control again and they call her boring. I call her smart. Plus 30 for Heather.
Shannon's daughter are going to cotillion to learn etiquette and how to dance. Then she says the kids in the OC are lazy and rude to "the elders" and she doesn't want her girls to be that way. So instead of teaching them manners herself, she sends them to class.
She and her husband have some serious marital issues and they decided to come on this show. Minus 20.
Tamra and Eddie have been married for 5 months and while hanging drapes, they talk about babies. Tamra has a bit of a situation on her hands when it comes to her kids which is playing out all over the celebrity gossip sites. Right now we're seeing the root of some of that.
Because she loves Halloween and the kids are with Simon, Tamra's throwing a Halloween party. Heather's bringing a friend to the party and Vicki asks if they'll like her. HER is Shannon, so there's a good chance the answer is no.
Shannon's annoyed that the food at the party isn't really food, then Shannon and Vicki bond because they're both Aries. Shannon tells the girls that she and David have never been away alone in their 13 years of marriage and spills a ton of details about her marriage. Tamra nods along in agreement to everything Shannon says.
Heather says maybe Shannon wants to hold back a little bit and not put all her cards on the table. Plus 15 to Heather.
Tamra nearly pees her pants laughing when one of the party planners scares Heather. It IS pretty funny to see Heather show some humanity. Plus 5.
Back at Shannon's house, Shannon barks at David that he can't take one of the lemons out of the basket on the table because "Elaine," her feng shui specialist, says she has to keep 9 lemons on the table at all times and he knows that and why can't he just get the lemons out of the fridge instead of the table.
OH MY GOD.
She wants to have a dinner party and make her beef dish, but he complains that it's a really heavy meal.
Minus 30 for the sounds of Michael, Vicki's son, brushing his teeth. Minus 8 for his attitude.
Vicki says her world revolves around her kids and her relationship with both of them is really close. When she tells Michael that she's lost 8 pounds, he says "that's not that special..."
Heather and Shannon meet up with Tamra for drinks and dinner and Shannon invites them to a dinner party. Then Shannon tells them that once upon a time, she went to a holistic dentist who put gems and jewels in her teeth and the first one cost her $20,000.
"That's a whole lotta crazy," Tamra quips. Plus 12.
Heather says "people like you..." and Tamra calls her on it, rightfully so. Heather just doesn't want Shannon to be taken advantage of. Her comments come from a good place, but yes, she would've flipped out if someone had said that to her.
Tamra mentions that she and Eddie have talked about a baby and starts crying when she says she never expected to be a part-time mom. Heather says she's filling a void in her life and Shannon advises her to talk to Eddie about it.
"Tamra's not a communicator." Gee, thanks, Heather.
Shannon's spidey-senses tell her that Heather has "lots of opinions."
To get a clear picture of what Vicki wants with the rest of her life, Vicki has her therapist make a house call. Vicki thinks that Ryan's just moving them to Oklahoma for fun. His JOB is moving him to Oklahoma because that's how he PROVIDES for Vicki's daughter.
"Part of me thinks it would be easier not being with Brooks..." While the therapist makes a good point that Vicki can't control everyone else's thoughts and feelings, THAT MANY PEOPLE telling her that he's a bad dude MIGHT NOT be wrong. Maybe.
Shannon brings in flowers and needs tip money,so she swipes it from her daughter Stella. It's basically like taking her own money. Meh.
David comes home with only two bottles of wine for at least 6 people. That's not enough wine anywhere, but especially not in the OC. Minus 7.
Heather's fretting about whether or not they should be going but then says she's kind of okay to leave "Coco" with the sitter. Colette, her youngest, is a handful. I FEEL YOU, HEATHER.
Vicki's scared of dinner parties because there's always drama every time she goes to one. Terry's excited to see another house in the neighborhood.
Shannon tells them there are feng shui crystals buried in the house's foundation. Heather asks David if he was on board with that.
"Sure," he says, noncommittally.
That was a jab at Shannon. She just knows it. Then she learns that the potatoes aren't cooked all the way so she has to microwave her potatoes. That was probably a jab at her, too. Minus 3.
Then she downs another drink.
While the dinner guests chill in the living room, they overhear Shannon and David in the kitchen. She's harping that he needs to go chat with their guests and he tells her she needs to have another drink.
Finally, they both go sit with their dinner guests and he brings up a thing about how a Sagittarius can't please and Aries. Vicki sees her marriage to Donn in Shannon and David and doesn't think things look good for them.
EPISODE TOTAL: -131 SEASON TOTAL: -156
What did you think of The Real Housewives of Orange County Season 9 Episode 2? Is Heather really too opinionated? But more importantly, can a Sagittarius please an Aries?
Miranda Wicker is a Staff Writer for TV Fanatic. Follow her on Twitter.