True Blood Review: Time and Tequila

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Somebody telling me that this is a prank and that Lettie Mae is not SERIOUSLY STILL AROUND!?!

The presence of Tara's irritating mother and Bill's excessive flashbacks almost managed to detract from the truly entertaining installment that was True Blood Season 7 Episode 5.

I think that Bon Temps has reached its grieving limit. If they have to attend one more funeral and/or mourn one more life, they are all going to lose it. Though, according to Nicole they've already all lost it. But still.

After coming home to an empty house, Lafayette, James and Alcide's father's girlfriend convince Sookie that she needs to have a party to honor the lost lives of Tara and Alcide. They said it's what they would have wanted: to be remembered and celebrated. 

Plus, everybody knows that Lafayette can throw a damn good party. His only rule? Don't mention to Sook that you are "Sorry for her loss." Apparently Violet didn't get the memo.

I've had about 100 boyfriends die on me over the years but I remember how painful those first few ones were.

Violet [to Sookie]

I know she was just trying to be helpful and I will admit that Violet has come around a bit on her social niceties since we first met her. However, that was until she heard Jason and Jess getting it on when Jason was supposed to be cheering Jess up.

Um, I think it worked J Stackhouse. Good job!

Look, I am a big Jessica fan, but Red is a class A hypocrite if she thinks that it was okay to bang Jason just minutes after she was crying over Lafayette and James. Cheating is cheating, baby girl.

As I said above, there is no excuse for cheaters but Lafayette made a good point. Did Jess even know anything about James? Were they together out of convenience? Did she even love him?

Sookie's party had all the best elements working for it: home cooking, a random DJ, hook ups, eye sex with vampires, an engagement, some toasts, a lot of alcohol and, of course, a stabbing. Seriously, how is Lettie Mae outliving all of these other characters??? 

She is like the lone roach still standing after the world is wiped out.

I laughed when Jason told Adelind and Holly's son that they might wanna stop hooking up and when Arlene got flustered from that hottie vamp. I teared up when Alcide's dad left the jacket for Sookie after overhearing her conversation with Arlene. And I gasped when Bill saw the tell-tale signs that he too has Hep V.

But we'll get to that in a moment.

No greater laughs are provided to me on this show than the ones that come out of Pam's mouth.

Oh my God, I'm a republi-c*nt!


She and Eric are the ultimate ride or die duo and I love them. It's just too bad that Eric was faced with choosing between the Yakuza versus Sarah Newlin. But fear not, it's Eric and Pam, and they will find a way out.

So... Bill and the Hep V- WTF? How did he get it? Who has he even fed on? I thought just Sookie. Also, in previews it seems to be rapidly advancing. Which leads me to my poll question?

Is there any hope for Bill and Eric to survive?


Editor Rating: 4.5 / 5.0
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User Rating:

Rating: 4.2 / 5.0 (51 Votes)
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True Blood Season 7 Episode 5 Quotes

Pam: I like her, I like you.
Amber: Is it okay if I still haven't made my mind up about you?
Pam: I really like her.

It's like being kicked in the cooch by a wallaby isn't it?