Apu Nahasapeemapetilon, or just Apu as like to call him, may have a Ph.D in computer science from back in India, but here in Springfield, he just runs the local Kwik-E-Mart.  Apu is voiced by Hank Azaria and is always loaded to the teeth and defending his store.  He's a vegan and was one of Springfield's most eligible bachelors until he married his wife and had octuplets.

Apu Nahasapeemapetilon Quotes

Marge: I can't kill her, she's Lisa's god mother
Apu: You can apologize in hell
Marge: I guess I could!

Lisa: Apu, how did you survie?
Apu: Well, as a vegetarian, I did not consume any tainted meat and as a convenience store owner, I am armed to the teeth

The Simpsons Quotes

Lisa: How can you people turn on snakes after all they've done for you?
Grampa: I'm an old man, I hate everything but Matlock. Ooh, it's on now.

Bart: From A-Apple to Z-Zebra, "Baby's First Pop-up Book" is 26 pages of alphabetic adventure!
Edna: Bart, you mean to tell me you read a book intended for preschoolers?
Bart: Well, most of it.