Apu Nahasapeemapetilon, or just Apu as like to call him, may have a Ph.D in computer science from back in India, but here in Springfield, he just runs the local Kwik-E-Mart.  Apu is voiced by Hank Azaria and is always loaded to the teeth and defending his store.  He's a vegan and was one of Springfield's most eligible bachelors until he married his wife and had octuplets.

Apu Nahasapeemapetilon Quotes

Marge: I can't kill her, she's Lisa's god mother
Apu: You can apologize in hell
Marge: I guess I could!

Lisa: Apu, how did you survie?
Apu: Well, as a vegetarian, I did not consume any tainted meat and as a convenience store owner, I am armed to the teeth

The Simpsons Quotes

Officer Eddie: (reading Steve Sax's license) Well well, Steve Sax, from New York City.
Officer Lou: I heard some guy got killed in New York City and they never solved the case. But you wouldn't know anything about that now, would you, Steve?
(Lou and Eddie laugh)
Steve Sax: But there are hundreds of unsolved murders in New York City.
Officer Lou: You don't know when to keep your mouth shut, do you, Saxxy Boy?

Wow, now I see why they call you Miss Hoover. You must have been vacuuming for an hour.

Bart