Apu Nahasapeemapetilon, or just Apu as like to call him, may have a Ph.D in computer science from back in India, but here in Springfield, he just runs the local Kwik-E-Mart.  Apu is voiced by Hank Azaria and is always loaded to the teeth and defending his store.  He's a vegan and was one of Springfield's most eligible bachelors until he married his wife and had octuplets.

Apu Nahasapeemapetilon Quotes

Marge: I can't kill her, she's Lisa's god mother
Apu: You can apologize in hell
Marge: I guess I could!

Lisa: Apu, how did you survie?
Apu: Well, as a vegetarian, I did not consume any tainted meat and as a convenience store owner, I am armed to the teeth

The Simpsons Quotes

Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!

Homer: Aw, twenty dollars? I wanted a peanut!
Homer's Brain: Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts.
Homer: Explain how!
Homer's Brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services.