Apu Nahasapeemapetilon, or just Apu as like to call him, may have a Ph.D in computer science from back in India, but here in Springfield, he just runs the local Kwik-E-Mart. Apu is voiced by Hank Azaria and is always loaded to the teeth and defending his store. He's a vegan and was one of Springfield's most eligible bachelors until he married his wife and had octuplets.
Krusty: Ooh! Sex Chat! (dials)
Voice: You've reached the Party Line! In a moment, you'll be connected to a hot party, with some of the world's most beautiful women! Now, let's join the party!
Man 1: Hello?
Man 2: Hello?
Apu: Are there any women here?
Apu: Are you a beautiful woman?
Krusty: Do I sound like a beautiful woman?
Apu: This is not as hot a party as I anticipated.
Marge: I can't kill her, she's Lisa's god mother
Apu: You can apologize in hell
Marge: I guess I could!