Apu Nahasapeemapetilon, or just Apu as like to call him, may have a Ph.D in computer science from back in India, but here in Springfield, he just runs the local Kwik-E-Mart. Apu is voiced by Hank Azaria and is always loaded to the teeth and defending his store. He's a vegan and was one of Springfield's most eligible bachelors until he married his wife and had octuplets.
Marge: I can't kill her, she's Lisa's god mother
Apu: You can apologize in hell
Marge: I guess I could!
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Lisa: Apu, how did you survie?
Apu: Well, as a vegetarian, I did not consume any tainted meat and as a convenience store owner, I am armed to the teeth
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Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
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Mayor Quimby: And, uh, may the Force be with you.
Leonard Nimoy: You have no idea who I am, do you?
Mayor Quimby: Sure, I do. You're one of the Little Rascals, right?
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