Johnny Kastl stars as the recurring character Dr. Doug Murphy on Scrubs. Myrphy started off in internal medicine but was quickly switched to the morgue after he nearly killed too many patients. They figured he knew death better than anyone.
Dr. Cox: Nobody hurts Carla and gets away with it.
Doug: Who's Carla?
Dr. Cox: I was talking to myself. Don't eavesdrop... [quietly] If this kid doesn't leave I'm gonna kill him.
[Doug stands up]
Dr. Cox: Now if you leave I'll know you were eavesdropping and I'll just go ahead and kill ya anyway. Stay, good girl
- Permalink: Nobody hurts Carla and gets away with it. Who's Carla? I was...
Dr. Cox: Do you know what you've just done? You just lost all lap-dog privileges.
J.D.: Excuse me?
Dr. Cox: No more walkies, no more treats, no more following me around the hospital.
J.D.: I'm not your lap-dog.
Dr. Cox: Hey you, back there, what do we do with lap-dogs who can't behave in the house?
Doug: Make them stay outside?
Dr. Cox: That's right. You now have five seconds to get out of this room, otherwise I'm gonna start whacking you on the nose with this!
- Permalink: Do you know what you've just done? You just lost all lap-dog pri...
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J.D.: Hey, I heard a great joke. A guy walks into a dentist's office and says, "I think I'm a moth." And the dentist says, "Well, if you think you're a moth, why are you at a dentist's office?"
J.D.'s narration: Oh, no, I forgot the punchline... You can't bail out now! Stall! Stall!
J.D.: ...So the moth says "That's a good question. What kind of dentist are you?" And the dentist says, "Well, I'm a general dentist, but I...I do dabble in orthodontry - braces and such." And... and the moth says, "Orthodontry? I hear there's great money in that."
J.D.'s narration: "The light was on"!
J.D.: "But! To answer your original question, which was, if I think I'm a moth, why am I in a dentist's office? The answer is, Because the light was on!" The light! The light, James. Moths love light. So, James, other than your funny bone being broken, what seems to be the problem?
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Powerful tiny fists...J.D.
- Permalink: Powerful tiny fists...