Thursdays 8:30 PM on CBS
Two-and-a-half-men

Ryan Stiles stars as Judith's new husband on Two and a Half Men.  He's also Jake's former pediatrician.  He's just as whipped as Alan once was and seems to want to be friends with the guys.

Herb Melnick Quotes

Alan: How's the pediatrician game?
Herb: Like taking money from babies.

Herb: My marriage isnt over yet
Chris: Duuudee....you've been takin out the garbage for two and a half hours

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Two and a Half Men Quotes

Charlie: Oh, try MalibuPuddingGirls.com.
Alan: Pudding Girls?
Charlie: Trust me.
Alan: Oh ... ew.

Charlie: Let me tell you something about feelings. Feelings are like your mother's breasts. You know where they are, but they're best left unfelt.
Rose: It's an interesting analogy, but may I point out that a mother's breasts are a source for nourishment and comfort?
Charlie: Yeah, well, my mother's breasts were a source of silicone and Russian vodka

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