Thursdays 8:30 PM on CBS
Two-and-a-half-men

Ryan Stiles stars as Judith's new husband on Two and a Half Men.  He's also Jake's former pediatrician.  He's just as whipped as Alan once was and seems to want to be friends with the guys.

Herb Melnick Quotes

Alan: How's the pediatrician game?
Herb: Like taking money from babies.

Herb: My marriage isnt over yet
Chris: Duuudee....you've been takin out the garbage for two and a half hours

Two and a Half Men Quotes

Charlie: Oh, try MalibuPuddingGirls.com.
Alan: Pudding Girls?
Charlie: Trust me.
Alan: Oh ... ew.

Alan: What's wrong with him?
Berta: Classic case of va-jay-jay fever.
Alan: Colorfully put. I'm just surprised to see Charlie fall for it.
Berta: Sooner or later all men fall for it. How do you think I got my condo in Palm Springs?
Alan: You have a condo in Palm Springs?
Berta: No, figure of speech. Don't try to stop by.

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