April Bowlby stars as Kandi, Alan's hot young ex-wife on Two and a Half Men. Alan married Kandi when they were in Vegas, but she quickly divorced him when she got an acting gig and she took his condo, forcing him to move back in with Charlie.
Alan: Boy am I thirsty.
Kandi: That's 'cause you sweat so much during sex.
Alan: Hey, I may not have the biggest boat in the marina, but nobody rows harder than me.
Kandi: You have a boat?
Alan: No, sweetie, what I meant was...
Charlie: Hey, hey, hey, some of us don't want to hear about your little dinghy
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Alan [explaining booty calls to Jake]: You see Jake, in the old west, cowboys could be out on the dusty range for months at a time, and they get mighty dirty. So they'd mosey into town with nothing but the clothes on their backs, and they'd need to wash them. So what they'd do is, they'd go down to the creek, and strip down until they were wearing nothing but their boots.
Charlie: Why'd they keep their boots on?
Alan: Rattlesnakes. Anyways, in order to warn people that were swimming that a naked cowboy was on his way, he would yell, or, if you will, call, "Booty! Booty!" Ergo, the Booty Call.
Kandi: Wow Alan, you really make history fun.
Alan: Well, thank you.
Kandi: So when did it start meaning casual sex?
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Charlie: For every gorgeous woman out there's a guy tired of banging her.
Alan: But that guy is never me.
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Yeah, hi. I'm watching your commercial cash for gold and you just showed a woman selling her wedding ring for $500. No, I don't want to sell gold, I want to meet her. She's hot and we know her marriage isn't working out.Charlie
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