Malcolm Barrett stars as Lem Hewitt on ABC's whacky office comedy, Better Off Ted.  Lem works as a research scientist under Ted at Veridian Dynamics.  Lem is best friends and co-workers with Phil.

The two of them are a deadly pair that can invent whatever hairbrain scheme the powers that be ask for.

Lem Hewitt Quotes

Phil: Blobby, like Bobby, only with an l
Lem: Don't name it or you won't want to eat it. Remember Chester the carrot?
Phil: Yeah, I miss him

Ted: At least meat grown in a test tube doesn't feel pain. Please tell me it doesn't feel pain.
Lem: We don't think so.
Phil: Yeah, although interestingly, it does respond to music

Better Off Ted Quotes

Janet: The company doesn't make mistakes.
Ted: What about that memo announcing "Casual Fribsday"?
Janet: The company said that wasn't a mistake. They explained that the ancient Mayans prophesied Fribsday--the first ever eighth day of the week which will occur in 2024. Which the company believes should be celebrated casually. I'm going to wear a denim pantsuit.
Ted: And when they urged all employees to "carpoop"?
Janet: That wasn't mandatory. Thank God.
Ted: Although we did find out what people would do to park slightly closer to the building.

Okay, people, we need to turn this simple festive gourd into a killer. I've asked Dr. Bamba to take a look at how Nature does it, because Nature is a fantastic killer of things

Ted