Malcolm Barrett stars as Lem Hewitt on ABC's whacky office comedy, Better Off Ted.  Lem works as a research scientist under Ted at Veridian Dynamics.  Lem is best friends and co-workers with Phil.

The two of them are a deadly pair that can invent whatever hairbrain scheme the powers that be ask for.

Lem Hewitt Quotes

Veronica: While right now I'm neither interested in raising a child, nor in playing landlord for nine months to a parasitic organism, I just want to keep my options open.
Lem: You want to have my baby?
Veronica: Well, using your DNA would only be my Plan E. Behind fall in love and breed, clone, take one of my sister's kids, or rip out the whole works and sail around the world.
Lem: Well, you would look good on the deck of the right ship. Tanned, wind in your hair, no ovaries.

Phil: Blobby, like Bobby, only with an l
Lem: Don't name it or you won't want to eat it. Remember Chester the carrot?
Phil: Yeah, I miss him

Better Off Ted Quotes

Veronica: While right now I'm neither interested in raising a child, nor in playing landlord for nine months to a parasitic organism, I just want to keep my options open.
Lem: You want to have my baby?
Veronica: Well, using your DNA would only be my Plan E. Behind fall in love and breed, clone, take one of my sister's kids, or rip out the whole works and sail around the world.
Lem: Well, you would look good on the deck of the right ship. Tanned, wind in your hair, no ovaries.

Okay, people, we need to turn this simple festive gourd into a killer. I've asked Dr. Bamba to take a look at how Nature does it, because Nature is a fantastic killer of things

Ted
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