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Malcolm Barrett stars as Lem Hewitt on ABC's whacky office comedy, Better Off Ted.  Lem works as a research scientist under Ted at Veridian Dynamics.  Lem is best friends and co-workers with Phil.

The two of them are a deadly pair that can invent whatever hairbrain scheme the powers that be ask for.

Lem Hewitt Quotes

Phil: Blobby, like Bobby, only with an l
Lem: Don't name it or you won't want to eat it. Remember Chester the carrot?
Phil: Yeah, I miss him

Ted: At least meat grown in a test tube doesn't feel pain. Please tell me it doesn't feel pain.
Lem: We don't think so.
Phil: Yeah, although interestingly, it does respond to music

Better Off Ted Quotes

Okay, people, we need to turn this simple festive gourd into a killer. I've asked Dr. Bamba to take a look at how Nature does it, because Nature is a fantastic killer of things

Ted

Veronica: We want to weaponize a pumpkin.
Ted: Then so do I. Because?
Veronica: There's a country with whom we do business that grows a great deal of pumpkins and would welcome additional uses for them. As well as cheaper ways to kill their enemies.
Ted: Well, finally the pumpkin gets to do something besides Halloween.
Veronica: Pie.
Ted: Halloween and pie