Mort Goldman owns the local pharmacy on Family Guy. Mort is also the father of Neil Goldman, the AV Club nerd that crushes on Meg at school. Mort is portrayed as an extremely nerdy Jewish guy.
Lois: Peter, what the hell is that?
Peter: Lois, I'm tired of Mort always mooching off us, so I made a Scarejew.
Lois: Peter, we're not gonna have this in our front yard, it's racist, and for god's sake ya ruined your best suit. Now we're gonna have to get you a new one...
Peter: Shh shhh, Lois, Lois look. (They go inside and Mort comes to the door)
Mort: Hey guys, I just wanted to return your... Oooh! oh my god it's Hitler! He's back, he's back. hurry, protect Jon Stewart. He's out most important Jew.
- Permalink: Peter, what the hell is that? Lois, I'm tired of Mort always m...
Mort: What kind of birdhouse can you build with popsicles, roofies, and a rubber mallet?
Herbert: It's for a rare African bird called "none your business."
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I forgot Yelp was a weapon for dumb people, you taught me something today Brian.Stewie
Stewie: (Comes into the bedroom) Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Mama! Mama! Mama! Ma! Ma! Ma! Ma! Mum! Mum! Mum! Mum! Mummy! Mummy! Mumma! Mumma! Mumma!
Stewie: Hi! (Giggling and running out of the room)
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