Herbert Garrison, who was briefly Janet Garrison after his first sex change, is the South Park students' elementary school teacher.  Mr. Garrison is usually seen his his puppet, Mr. Hat.  Before his sex change and after finally coming out of the closet, Mr. Garrison had an interesting relationship with Mr. Slave.  After having a penis grown of a mouse, Mr. Garrison is back to being a man.

Mr. Garrison Quotes

Mr. Garrison: Thanks. Hello Officer Barbrady.
Officer Barbrady: Nice gun.
Mr. Garrison: Thanks. Is there somewhere in town where I can get a good clear shot- er, view of Kathie Lee?
Officer Barbrady: You know, I think the book depository would be a good bet.

Kyle: Mr. Garrison, I HAVE to be excused!
Mr. Garrison: Oh, I don't know, Kyle... Did you ask Mr. Hat?
Kyle: I don't wanna ask Mr. Hat; I'm asking YOU!
Mr. Garrison: Oh, I think you should ask Mr. Hat...
Kyle: Mr. Hat, may I please be excused from class?
Mr. Garrison: (as Mr. Hat) Well, Kyle... NO!!! You hear me?! You go to hell! You go to hell and you die! (as himself) Well, I guess you'll have to take your seat, Kyle.
Kyle: Damn it!

South Park Quotes

Cartman: I'll make you eat your parents.
Ms. Choksondik: What did you say?
Cartman: Nothing

Somebody who would have sex with Kyle's mom would have sex with just about anything!

Stephen Stotch