Professor John I.Q. Nerdelbaum Frink, Jr. is the local Springfield super genius scientist and college professor.  Frink often makes some bizarre devices that are often used in the Treehouse of Horror specials.

Professor Frink Quotes

Kent Brockman: When cat burglaries start, can mass murders be far behind? This reporter isn't saying that the burglar is an inhuman monster like the Wolfman, but he very well could be. So, professor: would you say it's time for everyone to panic?
Professor: Yes I would, Kent.

(Volunteers offer to help Marge and Homer with Bart's predicament in the well.)
Falcon Man: Grasping the child firmly in his talons, Socrates here will fly him to safety! Just watch.
(The falcon is released and flies away) I don't think he's coming back.
Sea Captain: With this hook, and this hunk of chocolate, I'll land your boy. And I'll clean him for free.
Professor Frink: Although we can't reach the boy, we can freeze him with liquid nitrogen, so that future generations can rescue him.

The Simpsons Quotes

Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!

Mr. Burns: Oh, and one more thing: you must find the jade monkey before the next full moon.
Smithers Actually sir, we found the jade monkey. It was in your glove compartment.
Mr. Burns: And the road maps, and ice scraper?
Smithers: They were in there too, sir.
Mr. Burns: Excellent! It's all falling into place...