Serena: I'm just saying, if you want to stay relevant like me, you need to sleep with a professor, an ex-convict, a married congressman, AS WELL as Nate. Now I know this will be difficult because you don't have my breast size, but I think with time Gossip Girl will come to recognize you as relevant. Because all that matters is how relevant you are. Being irrelevant is the WORST thing that could happen. It's all I care about! I need to be relevant!
Izzie: I'm coming back to this show! I don't care what you say
Cristina: I don't care that you are wearing a wig! We all know it's still crazy Izzie under there, you can't come back!
Alex: She's pregnant with my baby!
Cristina: SERIOUSLY GUYS??!! Why does everyone get pregnant now?!
Blair: Now, who wants to hear how I got the great Chuck Bass to tell me he loved me?!
Cece: Oh Charlie, you almost make up for the loss of Eric
Charlie: Who the heck is Eric??
Richard: I know why you're on the vagina squad, you're gonna deliver a baby and run away with it. You are a baby stealer!
Serena: I think I have writer's block...
Diana: Serena, all you have to do is write about your life. I'm not asking for a piece of literature
Serena: It's just, sometimes words are hard! Actually, all the time.
Diana: Aren't you tired of swimming in Gossip Girl's fishbowl?
Serena: Fishbowl? Gossip Girl has a fishbowl? Ha, Diana, you're so dumb, I can't fit in a fishbowl!
Diana: .... I'd expect nothing less.
Nate: So you're not from America right? Because you have a weird accent
Diana: I'm from England. It's not a hard accent to place.
Nate: England... Where is that? And how did you learn english so well?!
Serena: Can Charlie stay with you? I brought her back without really thinking but you should have seen the place I found Charlie living in, squalor is too nice a word!
Ivy: (to herself) Geez it really wasn't that bad...
Blair: Absolutely not! She got Dan, I can't have her going after Chuck or Louise. You can have Nate if you want though Charlie.
Serena: So Nate is next on the list of my many men that you are now free to have.
Ivy: Geez it was hard enough getting Dan to go out with me...
Serena: Well Nate is definitely the easiest out of all of them. I'm sure you'll be making out with him by next week.
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