Here comes the cheap version of Eminem
Penn: I'm the lord of Hair. Grew a beard recently. Aren't I amazing?
Leighton: More homeless, than amazing.
Blair (Thoughts): Dear Dan, please cut your hair....the next Medusa is not Medusa, its you.
Dan: I'm sorry Blair, I became homeless during summer break. Can I burrow some money?
Serena: XOX....wait this is a phone....
Blake: This is a secret mission, do you understand? We need to cut the freakish Medusa of this show and that is Dan Humphrey
Serena/Blake: 911, I just found out there is another Season of Gossip Girl!
Blake: Don't forget to pick up my conditioner, my roots are THAT bad!
Ivy: I can explain! I'm your distant niece/cousin/sister/aunt!
Gossip Girl: Watch out S, looks like Ben Donovan is coming after you in a taxi. Do you prefer stripes or jagged lines on your coat?
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