Joseph: Hey Michael, guess what? I ate the last chocolate chip cookie and it was oh, so good...
Elena: I AM NOT GOING BACK TO SCHOOL!!!
Matt: Please Sheriff, you're my last chance of having a storyline this season.
Andy: What do you mean I'll see her soon?
Elena: Just to clear things up: I'm not getting any more interesting this season so get over it.
Blake: Give it up already, Leighton. Your music career just won't happen.
Leighton: I could say the exact same thing about your hair.
Spotted: Gossip Girl's low ratings leaving the Upper East Side.
Jenna: But how can vampires exist? Where did they come from? What is Klaus's plan? How can Katherine look exactly like you?
Elena: God... somebody kill her!
Elena: I love Stefan. It's always gonna be Stefan but I can't deny that I have some feelings for you Damon. I'm confused. You're my vampire boyfriend's vampire brother and I'm the doppelganger of his greatest love. Oh god, it's driving me crazy. What am I gonna do, Damon?
Damon: Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn.
Jeremy: What makes you think you can just walk in there and kill Klaus?
Bonnie: They're called boobs, Jeremy.
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