Reply to PostMeredith's Episode Quotes
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21.Superstition
My college campus has a magic statue. It's a longstanding tradition for students to rub its nose for good luck. My freshman roommate really believed in the statue's power and insisted on visiting it to rub its nose before every exam. Studying might have been a better idea, she flunked out her sophomore year. The fact is, we all have little superstitious things we do. If it's not believing in magic statues, it's avoiding sidewalk cracks or always putting our left shoe on first. Knock on wood. Step on a crack, break your mothers back. The last thing we want to do is offend the gods.
Superstition lies in the space between what we can control and what we can't. Find a penny, pick it up, and all day long you'll have good luck. No one wants to pass up a chance for good luck. But does saying it thirty three times really help? Is anyone really listening? And if no ones listening, why do we bother doing those strange things. We rely on superstitions because we're smart enough to know we don't have all the answers. And that life works in mysterious ways. Don't diss the juju, from wherever it comes.
22. The name of the game
A good basketball game can have us all on the edge of our seats. Games are all about the glory, pain and the play by play. And then there are the more solitary games. The games we play all by ourselves. The social games, the mind games. We use them to pass the time to make life more interesting... to distract us from what's really going on. There are those of us who love to play games, any games. And there are those of us who love to play a little too much.
So go ahead... argue with the ref, change the rules, cheat a little, take a break and tend to your wounds. But play. Play. Play hard, play fast... play loose and free. Play as if there's no tomorrow. Okay, so it's not whether you win or lose, it's how you play the game... right?
23. Blues for sister someone
The key to being a successful intern is what we give up: sleep, friends, a normal life. We sacrifice it all for that one amazing moment, that moment when you can legally call yourself a surgeon. There are days that make the sacrifices seem worthwhile. And then there are the days where everything feels like a sacrifice. And then there are the sacrifices that you can't even figure out why you're making.
A wise man once said you can have anything in life if you will sacrifice everything else for it... what he meant is nothing comes without a price. So before you go into battle, you better decide how much you're willing to lose. Too often, going after what feels good means letting go of what you know is right; and letting someone in means abandoning the walls you've spent a lifetime building. Of course, the toughest sacrifices are the ones we don't see coming, when we don't have time to come up with a strategy to pick a side or to measure the potential loss. When that happens, when the battle chooses us and not the other way around, that's when the sacrifice can turn out to be more than we can bear.
24. Damage case
We all go through life like bulls in a china shop. A chip here, a crack there. Doing damage to ourselves, to other people. The problem is trying to figure out how to control the damage we've done, or that's been done to us. Sometimes the damage catches us by surprise. Sometimes we think we can fix the damage. And sometimes the damage is something we can't even see.
We're all damaged, it seems. Some of us, more than others. We carry the damage with us from childhood, then as grownups, we give as good as we get. Ultimately, we all do damage. And then, we set about the business of fixing whatever we can.
25. 17 Seconds
In life we are taught that there are seven deadly sins. We all know the big ones... gluttony, pride, lust. But the thing you don't hear much about is anger. Maybe it's because we think anger is not that dangerous, that you can control it. My point is, maybe we don't give anger enough credit. Maybe it can be a lot more dangerous than we think. After all when it comes to destructive behavior, it did make the top seven.
So what makes anger different from the six other deadly sins? It's pretty simple really, you give into a sin like envy or pride and you only hurt yourself. Try lust or coveting and you'll only hurt yourself and one or two others. But anger, anger is the worst... the mother of all sins... Not only can anger drive you over the edge, when it does you can take an awful lot of people with you.
26. Deterioration of the fight or flight response
Meredith: Human beings need a lot of things to feel alive.
George: Family . . .
Cristina: Love . . .
Izzie: Sex.
Derek: But we only need one thing,
Burke: To actually be alive.
Cristina: We need a beating heart.
Addison: When our heart is threatened,
Alex: we respond in one of two ways.
George: We either run or . . .
Izzie: we attack.
Chief: There's a scientific term for this:
Alex: Fight . . .
Addison: or flight.
Bailey: It's instinct . . .
Meredith: We can't control it.
Izzie: Or can we?
Posted 7/24/2008 2:53:45 AM # -
SEASON 3
1.Time has come today
Inside the OR, the best surgeons make time fly; outside the OR, however, time takes pleasure in kicking our asses. For even the strongest of us it seems to play tricks. Slowing down... hovering until it freezes. Leaving us stuck in a moment- unable to move in one direction or the other.
Time waits for no man. Time heals all wounds. All any of us can want, is more time. Time to stand up. Time to grow up. Time to let go. Time.
2. I am a tree
At any given moment, the brain has 14 billion neurons firing at a speed of 450 miles per hour. We don't have control over most of them. When we get a chill...goose bumps. When we get excited...adrenaline. The body naturally follows it's impulses, which I think is part of what makes it so hard for us to control ours. Of course, sometimes we have impulses we would rather not control, that we later wish we had.
The body is a slave to it's impulses. But the thing that makes us human is what we can control. After the storm, after the rush, after the heat of the moment has passed, we can cool off and clean up the messes we made. We can try to let go of what was. Then again...
3. Sometimes a fantasy
Surgeons usually fantisize about wild and improbable surgeries. Someone collapses in a restaurant, you splice them open with a butter knife, replace a valve with a hollowed out stick of carrot-- but every now and then some other kind of fantasy slips in. Most of our fantasies resolve when we wake, vanished to the back of our mind, but sometimes we're sure if we try hard enough-- we can live the dream.
The fantasy is simple. Pleasure is good, and twice as much pleasure is better. That pain is bad, and no pain is better. But the reality is different. The reality is that pain is there to tell us something, and there's only so much pleasure we can take without getting a stomach ache. And maybe that's okay. Maybe some fantasies are only supposed to live in our dreams.
4. What I am
At some point during surgical residency, most interns get a sense of who they are as doctors and the kinds of surgeons they want to become. If you ask them, they'll tell you they want to be general surgeons, orthopaedic surgeons, neurosurgeons. Distinctions which do more than describe their area of expertise, they define who they are, because outside the operating room, not only do most surgeons have no idea who they are, they're also afraid to find out.
DENNY: Dad, mom. It's me. I'm calling from Seattle Grace Hospital where the beautiful, talented and incredibly stubborn Dr. Isobel Stevens has... she's given me a brand new heart and promised to marry me. I know we've had our differences and I'm sorry we've been out of touch. Believe it or not, I was trying to make everything better. I know you're angry but I hope you'll forgive me. It turns out, sometimes you have to do the wrong thing. Sometimes you have to make a big mistake to figure out how to make things right. The stakes are painful. But they're the only way to find out who you really are. I know who I am now. And I know what I want. I've got the love of my life, a new heart and I want you guys to get on the next plane out here and meet my girl. Everything's going to be different now, I promise. From here on out, Nothing's every going to be the same. I love you, bye.
5. Oh, the guilt
First, do no harm. As doctors, we pledge to live by this oath. But harm happens and then guilt happens. And there is no oath for how to deal with that. Guilt never goes anywhere on its own, it brings its friends - doubt and insecurity.
We are left with a choice. Either let the guilt throw you back into the behavior that got you into trouble in the first place, or learn from the guilt and do your best to move on.
Posted 7/24/2008 2:56:32 AM # -
6. Let the angels commit
To make it - really make it - as a surgeon - it takes major commitment. We have to be willing to pick up that scalpel and make a cut that may or may not do more damage than good. It's all about being committed, because if we're not? We have no business picking up that scalpel in the first place.
There are times when even the best of us have trouble with commitment, and we may be surprised at the commitments we're willing to let slip out of our grasp. Commitments are complicated. We may surprise ourselves by the commitments we're willing to make. True commitment, takes effort, and sacrifice. Which is why sometimes, we have to learn the hard way, to choose our commitments very carefully.
7.Where the boys are
As surgeons, we are trained to look for disease. Sometimes the problem is easily detected, most of the time we need to go step by step. First, probing the surface looking for any sign of trouble. Most of the time, we can't tell what's wrong with somebody by just looking at them. After all, they can look perfectly fine on the outside, while their insides tell a whole other story.
Not all wounds are superficial. Most wounds run deeper than you can imagine. You can't see them with the naked eye. And then there are the wounds that take us by surprise. The trick with any kind of wound or disease is to dig down and find the real source of the pain - and once you've found it, try like hell to heal that sucker.
8. Staring at the sun
Many people don't know that the human eye has a blind spot in its field of vision. There is a part of the world that we are really blind to. The problem is, sometimes our blind spots shield us from things that really shouldn't be ignored. Sometimes our blind spots keep our lives bright and shiny.
When it comes to our blind spots, maybe our brains aren't compensating. Maybe they're protecting us.
9. From a whisper to a scream
As doctors, we know everybody's secrets. Their medical histories. Sexual histories. Confidential information that is as essential to a surgeon as a ten-blade, and every bit as dangerous. We keep secrets, we have to, but not all secrets can be kept.
In some ways, betrayal is inevitable. When our bodies betray us, surgery is often the key to recovery. When we betray each other, the path to recovery is less clear. We do whatever it takes to rebuild the trust that was lost. And then there are some wounds, some betrayals... that are so deep, so profound that there is no way to repair what was lost. And when that happens, there's nothing left to do but wait.
10. Don't stand so close to me
At the end of the day, when it comes down to it, all we really want is to be close to somebody. So this thing where we all keep our distance and pretend not to care about each other, it's usually a load of bull. So we pick and choose who we want to remain close to, and once we've chosen those people, we tend to stick close by. No matter how much we hurt them. The people that are still with you at the end of the day, those are the ones worth keeping. And sure, sometimes close can be too close. But sometimes, that invasion of personal space, it can be exactly what you need.
Posted 7/24/2008 2:57:50 AM # -
3.11 - Six Days Part 1 and 3.12 - Six Days Part 2 [no narration]
13. Great expectations
No one believes that their life will turn out just kind of okay. We all think we are going to be great. And from the day we decide to be surgeons, we are filled with expectation. Great expectations of who we will be, where we will go.
We all think we're going to be great and we feel a little bit robbed when our expectations aren't met. But sometimes our expectations sell us short. Sometimes the expected simply pales in comparison to the unexpected. You got to wonder why we cling to our expectations, because the expected is just what keeps us steady. Standing. Still. The expected's just the beginning, the unexpected is what changes our lives.
14. Wishin' and hopin'
As surgeons, we live in a world of worse case scenarios. We cut ourselves off from hoping for the best because too many times the best doesn't happen. But every now and then something extraordinary occurs and suddenly best case scenarios seem possible. And every now and then something amazing happens, and against our better judgment we start to have hope.
As doctors, we're trained to give our patients just the facts. But what our patients really want to know is- will the pain go away? Will I feel better? Am I cured? What our patients really want to know is- is there hope? But, inevitably, there are times when you find yourself in the worst case scenario. When the patient's body has betrayed them and all the science we have to offer has failed them. When the worst case scenario comes true, clinging to hope is all we've got left.
15. Walk on water
Disappearences happen in science. Disease can suddenly fade away. Tumors go missing. We open someone up to discover the cancer is gone. It's unexplained, it's rare, but it happens. We call it misdiagnosis, say we never saw it in the first place, any explanation but the truth. That life is full of vanishing acts. If something that we didn't know we had disappears, do we miss it?
16. Drowning on dry land
Like I said, disappearances happen, pains go phantom, life stops runnins, and people...people fade away. There's more I have to say...so much more, but I disappreared.
17. Some kind of miracle
There are medical miracles. Being worshippers at the alter of science, we don't like to believe miracles exist, but they do. Things happen. We can't explain them. We can't control them, but they do happen.
At the end of a day like this, a day when so many prayers are answered, and so many aren't, we take our miracles where we find them. We reach across the gap, and sometimes against all odds, against all logic, we touch.
18. Scars and souvenirs
People have scars in all sorts of unexpected places, like secret road maps of their personal histories, diagrams of all their old wounds. Most of our old wounds heal, leaving nothing behind but a scar, but some of them don't. Some wounds we carry with us everywhere and even though the cuts long gone, the pain still lingers.
What's worse, new wounds which are so horribly painful or old wounds that shoud've healed years ago and never did. Maybe our old wounds teach us something, they remind us where we've been and what we've overcome, they teach us lessons about what to avoid in the future. That's what we like to think, but that's not the way it is, is it? Somethings you just have to learn over and over and over again.
Posted 7/24/2008 3:00:06 AM # -
19. My favorite mistake
Surgeons always have a plan. Where to cut, where to clamp, where to stitch. But, even with the best plans complications can arise, things can go wrong. And suddenly you're caught with your pants down.
The thing about plans is they don't take into account the unexpected, so when we're thrown a curve ball, whether its in the O.R. or in life, we have to improvise. Of course, some of us are better at it than others. Some of us just have to move on to plan B, and make the best of it. And sometimes what we want is exactly what we need. But sometimes, sometimes what we need is a new plan.
20. Time after time
Some people believe that without history, our lives amount to nothing. At some point we all have to choose: do we fall back on what we know, or do we step forward to something new?
A patient's history is as important as their symptoms. It's what helps us decide if heart burn's a heart attack... if a headache's a tumor. Sometimes patients will try to re-write their own histories. They'll claim they don't smoke, or forget to mention certain drugs... which in surgery can be the kiss of death. We can ignore it all we want, but our history eventually always comes back to haunt us.
21. Desire
As interns, we know what we want, to become surgeons. And we'll do anything to get there. Suffer through killer exam, endure 100-hour weeks, Stand for hours on end in operating rooms, you name it, we'll do it.
Too often, the thing you want most is the one thing you can't have. Desire leaves us heartbroken, it wears us out. Desire can wreck your life. But as tough as wanting something can be. The people who suffer the most, are those who don't know what they want.
22/23. The other side of life
The dream is this - that we'll finally be happy when we reach our goals - find the guy, finish our internship, that's the dream. Then we get there. And if we're human, we immediately start dreaming of something else. Because, if this is the dream, then we'd like to wake up. Now, please!
Maybe we accept the dream has become a nightmare. We tell ourselves that reality is better. We convince ourselves it's better that we never dream at all. But, the strongest of us, the most determined of us, holds on to the dream or we find ourselves faced with a fresh dream we never considered. We wake to find ourselves, against all odds, feeling hopeful. And, if we're lucky, we realize in the face of everything, in the face of life the true dream is being able to dream at all.
24. Testing
1-2-3A surgeon's education never ends. Every patient, every symptom, every operation... is a test. A chance for us to demonstrate how much we know. And how much more we have to learn.
25. Didn't we almost have it all
RICHARD: [narrating] Being Chief... is about responsibility. Every single surgical patient in a hospital is your patient. Whether you're the one who cut them open or not. The scalpel stops with you. You need to be able to look at her family. And to tell them your team did everything they could to save someone's life. The husband, the wife. Taking care about the people's families. And responsibility... it makes you... you take care of the people's families. But you sacrifice your own.
Posted 7/24/2008 3:01:45 AM # -
Season 4
1. A change is gonna come
In the practice of medicine, change is inevitable. New surgical techniques are created, procedures are updated, levels of expertise increase. Innovation is everything, nothing remains the same for long. We either adapt to change, or ... we get left behind.
Change. We don’t like it, we fear it, but we can't stop it from coming. We either adapt to change or we get left behind. And it hurts to grow, anybody who tells you it doesn’t is lying. But heres the truth: the more things change, the more they stay the same. And sometimes, oh, sometimes change is good. Oh...sometimes, change ... is ... everything.
2. Love/Addiction
In the hospital, we see addiction every day. It's shocking how many kinds of addiction exist. It would be too easy if it were just drugs and booze and cigarettes. I think the hardest part of kicking a habit is wanting to kick it. I mean, we get addicted for a reason, right? Often, too often, things that start out as just a normal part of your life at some point cross the line to obsessive, compulsive, out of control. It's the high we're chasing, the high that makes everything else fade away.
Still, they say you don’t kick the habit until you hit rock bottom, but how do you know when you’re there? Because no matter how badly a thing is hurting us, sometimes letting it go hurts even worse.
3. Let the truth sting
Doctors give patients a number of thing. We give them medicine, we give them advice and, most of the time, we give them our undivided attention. But, by far, the hardest thing you can give a patient is the truth. The truth is hard. The truth is awkward and very often the truth hurts. I mean, people think they want the truth. But do they really?
The truth is painful. Deep down, nobody wants to hear it, especially when it hits close to home. Sometimes we tell the truth because the truth is all we have to give. Sometimes we tell the truth because we need to say it out loud to hear it for ourselves. And sometimes we tell the truth because we just can't help ourselves. Sometimes, we tell them because we owe them at least that much.
4.The heart of the matter
In life, only one thing is certain apart from death and taxes: no matter how hard you try, no matter how good your intentions, you are going to make mistakes. You're going to hurt people. You're going to get hurt. And if you ever want to recover, there's really only one thing to say...
Forgive and forget. That's what they say. It's good advice, but it's not very practical. When someone hurts us we want to hurt them back. When someone wrongs us we want to be right. Without forgiveness, old scores are never settled. Old wounds never heal. The most we can hope for is that one day we'll be lucky enough to forget.
5.Haunt you everyday
There’s a reason surgeons learn to wield scalpels. We like to pretend we’re hard, cold scientists. We like to pretend we're fearless. But the truth is we become surgeons because somewhere deep down we think we can cut away that which haunts us. Weakness, frailty, death.
It isn't just surgeons. The truth is, I don't know anyone who isn't haunted by something - or someone. And whether we try to slice away the pain with a scalpel or shove it in the back of a closet, our efforts usually fail. So, the only way we can clean out the cobwebs is to turn a new page...or put an old story to rest...finally...finally to rest.
Posted 7/24/2008 3:03:28 AM # -
6. Kung fu fighting
There’s this thing about being a surgeon. Maybe it’s pride or maybe it’s just about being tough. But a true surgeon never admits they need help, unless absolutely necessary. Surgeons don’t need to ask for help because they are tougher than that. Surgeons are cowboys, rough around the edges, hard core… at least that’s what they want you to think.
Deep down, everyone wants to believe they can be hardcore. But being hardcore isn’t just about being tough. It’s about acceptance. Sometimes you have to give yourself permission to not be hardcore for once. You don’t have to be tough every minute of every day. It’s okay to let down your guard. In fact there are moments when it’s the best thing you can possibly do… as long as you choose your moments wisely.
7. Physical attraction chemical reaction
Before we were doctors, we were med students. Which meant that we spent a lot of time studying chemistry. Organic chemistry. Biochemistry. We learnt it all. But when you are talking about human chemistry, only one thing matters: either you got it, or you don't.
Chemistry. Either you've got it, or you don't. 8. Forever young
There comes a point in your life when you're officially an adult. Suddenly, you're old enough to vote, drink and engage in other adult activities. Suddenly, people expect you to be responsible, serious, a grown-up. We get taller, we get older, but do we ever really grow up?
In some ways we grow up. We have families, we get married, divorced. But for the most part, we still have the same problems that we did when we were fifteen. No matter how much we grow taller, grow older, we are still forever stumbling. Forever wondering... forever ... young.
9. Crash into me Part 1
We go into medicine because we want to save lives. We go into medicine because we want to do good. We go into medicine for the rush... for the high... for the ride. But, what we remember at the end of most days are the losses. What we lay awake at night replaying is the pain we caused or failed to cure. The lives we ruined or failed to save. So the experience of practicing medicine rarely resembles the goal. The experience too often is backwards and upside down.
10. Crash into me Part 2
At the end of the day, the experience of practising medicine bears little resemblance to the dream. We go into medicine because we want to save lives. We go into medicine because we want to do good. We go into medicine for the rush, for the high, for the ride. But what we remember at the end of most days are the losses. What we like awake at night replaying is the pain we caused. The ills we couldn't cure, the lives we ruined...or failed to save. At the end of the day the reality is nothing like we hope. The reality is...at the end of the day more often than not turned inside out and upside down.
Some days ... the whole world seems upside down. And then somehow, and probably, and when you least expect it, the world rights itself again.
11. Lay your hands on me
Bailey: In the beginning, God created the Heaven and the Earth, at least that's what they say. He created the birds of the air and the beasts of the field and He looked at his creation and he saw that it was good. And then God created Man. And it's been downhill ever since. The story goes on to say that God created Man in His own image, but there's not much proof of that... After all, God made the sun and the moon and the stars and all Man makes is trouble. And when Man finds himself in trouble, which is most of the time, he turns to something bigger than himself, to love, or fate or religion, to make sense of it all. But for a surgeons, the only thing that makes any kind of sense is… medicine.
Bailey: As doctors, we know more about the human body now than at any point in our history. But the miracle of life itself; why people live and die, why they hurt or get hurt is still a mystery. We wanna know the reason, the secret, the answer at the back of the book… because the thought of our being all alone down here is just too much for us to bear. But at the end of the day, the fact that we show up for each other, in spite of our differences, no matter what we believe, is reason enough to keep believing.
Posted 7/24/2008 3:05:49 AM #
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Lexie: Mark, I'm dying. Please tell Meredith I love her and that she is a good sister.
