Who's The Grown-Up Here? (M/A/C)
Am I the only person who feels sorry for Mark in regards to the triangle? The recent episodes where Arizona's constantly complaining about having to share her life with Mark have really irked me. I'm sure Mark's not thrilled about having to include Arizona in all of the decisions regarding his child, but he seems to be handling it a lot better than she is. Her whole speech a few episodes back about how this isn't her dream made me think how much I'd like to hear a similiar speech from Mark about how it isn't his either. Yes he wanted a child. With LEXIE. But him and Lexie were broken up, and Arizona left Callie and she came to him for comfort. And now he's stepping up to be a part of his child's life, which ended his relationship with Lexie (again) and all he's getting for it is flak from Arizona. When she told him during the baby shower that he wasn't normal because he was "pretending" to enjoy the shower, I thought why isn't it normal to enjoy a party to celebrate your child's existence?
I also feel sorry for Callie. Yes she wanted a baby, but once again with ARIZONA. But she left her. And then Arizona came back into Callie's life expecting everything to go back the way it is and now she's mad that it will never be that way again. Callie's pregnant and emotional and while Mark seems to be trying to support Callie and keep her happy, Arizona just keeps picking arguments and making snide comments that sound like she doesn't think Callie should be so excited about the baby (or the shower) because it's not what they had originally planned.
Am I really the only one who feels that it's Arizona who needs to grow up in this situation?
I love Arizona...she's one of my favorites...but I hated when she said all that about this not being her dream and complaining about Mark. Whereas Mark hasn't said anything, hasn't complained, has just been happy with everything that's happening...except with Lexie. I think that he should be complaining too...Mark's my favorite out of all of Grey's Anatomy....but I also think that Arizona is right to complain....just not as much as she does....at the end of the day...Mark and Callie are the parents...she's the lesbian lover....she wanted to have kids with Callie...but that she and Callie would be the dad. I think she has a right to be upset....but I also think that she should stop complaining so much.
Mark is not complaining about the situation that he finds himself in at the present moment, because this is exactly what he wanted. He wanted a family, now he is getting it. Mark doesn't just want a child, he wants a whole family becasue he has always been lonely. He said it last season when Sloane Sloan wanted to give up her child for adoption, he was devastated because he thought he was losing the family he always wanted and never had. Mark said that his mother died and his father couldn't get off the couch and never pay attention to him growing up. So Mark is not complaining because he is getting a family with Callie and Arizona and the baby. Mark wants a family he doesn't care with whom because if he did, he would've taken into account Lexie's feelings would've learned how to be patient with Lexie and waited for her to get ready for what he wanted. Just like Derek did with Meredith.
On the other hand Arizona didn't want children, then she caved to Callie in the finale, because she loves Callie. Arizona per some conversation between Callie and Arizona, has never been the type of person who needs a family because she had always had one. I bet she comes from a stable loving family unlike Mark. So Arizona doesn't need to make a family in order for her not to feel lonely. Arizona concept of family is less desperate then Mark's concept of family, because Arizona didn't grew up being an stray in someone else family like Mark grew up being the stray that Derek brought home when they were children.
So I understand why Arizona is complaining, and I think Callie should see Arizona's side more than Mark's, since Callie also came from the same type of family as Arizona. It not healthy for Mark to cling to Callie so much because one day Callie is going to have to choose Arizona over him, no matter how important Mark is in Callie's life. When Callie's choose Arizona over him, Mark is going to be left with nothing even him being Callie's baby father.
It kills me to see mark so devastated. he has been lonely and devastated since he has been on the show. he has a much bigger heart than most give him credit for. Yea he's a little bit of a sleazze bag but at the same time, when he cares, he really cares. and don't get me wrong i adore arizona too but i don't think that he bitching about how this wasn't the life she ever expect with this love triangle. but regardless she has to realize that should would have been in this triangle regardless. mark and callie have always been close. yes this baby complicates the situation but i definitely think that callie will chose arizona over mark at some point...but it will never be in regards to marks child because i think that callie understands that he is the father...end of story. he has a permanent place in the life of his kid.
Technically Derek did not wait for Meredith to get on the same page with him. He wanted to, but he grew impatient and began dating Rose. He still wanted Meredith and thought about her (like Mark does with Lexie), but he also began moving on (or at least trying to). The difference is that Mark's moving on resulted in an "oops" that Lexie doesn't want to be a part of. Derek could have had the same issue (and given Rose's "Derek, I'm pregnant" prank, almost did). But I feel Mark's being put down for taking on that responsibility. Yes, he wants a child, and a family. Does that make him a bad person? People might say yes, because it was with someone else's partner. But it wasn't, at the time. Both Mark and Callie were single, and for all that the audience may know that Mark/Lexie and Callie/Arizona are MFEO, they don't. In their world, they don't know if they'll ever get back with that person. Luckily for Callie, Arizona loved her and came back, but she didn't know that would happen. And if Arizona hadn't come back, most people would be thrilled that Mark and Callie both got the baby they always wanted. But because Arizona's back, she's upset that she has to share and it results in her essentially being mean to Mark. I actually like Arizona in most aspects, with the big exception of her relationship with Mark. She's never been very nice to him, despite him always trying to get along with her, and since the baby storyline it's gotten progressively worse.
Salix, if I could reach through the computer screen and hug you right now I probably would! I was starting to think I was the only one who seen Mark as being the most rational individual in this entire situation! It's safe to say that I don't like Arizona but I do like Callie and it's been infuriating me to see that some of the Calzona fans have been practically bashing Mark when he isn't the one being unreasonable here. Between he and Arizona he is the one that's ponying up and he's more than nice to her, and respectful of her, and willing to share parental responsibilities with her when legally he doesn't have to. He hasn't complained once and he very well could complain about a number of things and yet Arizona constantly lashes out at him and it's uncalled for...and she never apologizes for it either.
That's another thing that bothers me about Arizona and her take on Mark and this triangle. Mark loves Callie but not in a romantic way. She's his best friend. Arizona is constantly feeling threatened and she shouldn't. Arizona also feels insecure that she doesn't always know Callie as well as Mark does. She lashes out at Mark and only now chooses it get pissed over this triangle thing but she would have always been a triangle. If Mark came into the picture after Callie and Arizonamet I could understand Arizona's feelings, but he was always there...which means she knew what she was getting into as far as him and Callie being close.
Arizona left and she didn't want kids. It isn't true for anyone to say that she wanted a baby with Callie and Callie alone, becasue she didn't want a baby at all. Now she agrees to be a part of this kid's life...reluctantly and only after her arm was pulled about abandoning Callie and she wants to shut Mark out altogether. Mark was not a sperm donor. He was an active participant in a sexual relationship with Callie where a baby wasn't part of the plan. If he was a sperm donor then yeah, Arizona would have a right to demand he step back from the baby and Callie but he isn't. HE's the baby's father, and whether she was a lesbian lover of a boyfriend of Callie's it doesn't change the fact that Mark has a right to be a part of his child's life and he would always have more rights than she has. So yeah. Arizona is the one that has been and is being the most childish in this entrire situation and yet Mark is the one that's catching the most flak and I too don't understand why that is, because he's gone above and beyond, and she showed a side of her that made me dislike her character more than I ever have before.
I agree with @Salix and @Blu. Mark is only stepping up and taking responsibility for his baby. I understand that Arizona is upset, but she shouldn't be lashing out to Mark for trying to be a good father. She should understand that since she now wants to be with Callie and the baby, she should also accept Mark as part of the family instead of telling him to back off.
@Gaby EE,@Salix and@Blu, Seriously? I mean seriously? How old are you, have you ever been in a relationship? what are you trying to say,that if you have a fight with your partner and you seperate,the first thing you will do is to screw with your best friend? yeah, you're right! very mature... the whole thing is wrong from the beggining! if i were Arizona, i don't know if i could forgive Callie! and don't forget that Mark had second thoughts about taking responsibilities for the baby! When he realized that he might lose Lexi again, he started thinking about "the cool uncle"... that would be the better solution about everything... Instead, we end up to hate this storyline! this is so,so wrong!
i would have to go with none of them, but if i had to pick id go with arizona. she has constantly been more of a voice of reason and has really stepped up. mark was doing great up until the musical episode. when they asked if mark/arizona wanted to keep the baby in or out, mark was only thinking about himself. and then when he told arizona that if they lost the baby he'd just screw callie again...what an ass. i get he was upset and i love mark but he was way out of line. atleast arizona was thinking of what callie would want and put her own feelings second. but i do have hope that everuone will work things out.oh and props to callie for putting up with mark/arizona and all their crap.
@n - As a matter of fact, I have been in a relationship. More than one. I never said that Callie sleeping with Mark was mature. Or even a good decision. I said that the way they were handling it, the aftermath of Callie becoming pregnant was mature. They've both stepped up and took responsibility. And I don't think Mark having second thoughts about the baby makes him a bad person (or a bad parent), lots of people have second thoughts. He made the decision though to be a father to his child despite the fact that it cost him his relationship with a woman he loves. And Callie and Arizona didn't just have a fight and "separate". They had a fight and then Arizona got on a plane to another continent for what was supposed to be a three-year stint.
@amelia - I agree Mark was being a bit of a jerk in the musical episode. I really disliked his "we'll just have sex again" lines. I think that both Arizona and Mark were completely out of it during this episode. Mark's lost babies before (Addison terminating, Sloane disappearing), but for him to lose Callie, his person, obviously struck him pretty hard. That doesn't make what he said okay though. I think using the accident to bring Mark and Arizona together feels very forced though.