Waiting For Lyndsey

Alan worries when he tells Lyndsey to choose between him and Larry on Two and a Half Men.
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Marty's Bachelor Party

Alan and Walden throw Marty a bachelor party on Two and a Half Men. "Bite Me, Supreme Court" is the 13th episode of the show's 11th season.
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Alan's Advice

Alan gives Jenny relationship advice on how to keep her girlfriend on Two and a Half Men. "Tazed in the Lady Nuts" is the 11th episode of the show's 11th season.
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Alan's Odd Situation

Alan's transgender girlfriend's ex hits on him on Two and a Half Men. "On Vodka, On Soda, On Blender, On Mixer!" is the tenth episode of the show's 11th season.
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The Boyfriend Issue

Alan tries to figure out why Lyndsey's with her boyfriend on Two and a Half Men. "Alan Harper, Pleasing Women Since 2003" is the fifth episode of the show's 11th season.
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Handling Retirement

Can Walden and Alan handle things if Berta retires on Two and a Half Men. "The Unblessed Biscuit" is the third episode of the show's 11th season.
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Amber Tamblyn as Jenny

It's Amber Tamblyn on Two and a Half Men. She premieres here as Charlie's long lost daughter.
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Alan's Intentions

How far will Alan go when his new look attracts married women on Two and a Half Men. "My Bodacious Villa" is the 22nd episode of the show's tenth season.
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Tammy Is Furious

Tammy is furious with Jake when she finds out he's been cheating on her and with whom on Two and a Half Men. "Bazinga! That's From a TV Show" is the 20th episode of the show's tenth season.
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Alan's New Home

After a huge fight with Walden, Alan moves in with Herb on Two and a Half Men. "The 9.04 From Pemberton" is the 18th episode of the show's tenth season.
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Lyndsey's Date

Lyndsey goes out on a date with someone other than Alan on Two and a Half Men. "Run, Steven Staven! Run!" is the 14 episode of the show's tenth season.
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Alan Invests

Alan secretly uses Walden's money to invest in Kate's fashion line. "Welcome to Alancrest" is the 12th episode of the show's tenth season.
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Two and a Half Men Quotes

Jake: If drinking makes you feel bad, why do you drink?
Charlie: Nobody likes a smart ass, kid.
Jake: You have to put a dollar in the swear jar. You said "ass."
Charlie: Tell you what. Here's a twenty. That ought to cover me until lunch

Woman [to Charlie about Jake]: You guys are really great together.
Charlie: Thanks.
Woman: Your wife must be proud.
Charlie: Oh, no, I'm not married.
Woman: Too bad.
Charlie: Wow, you're even better than a dog