Charlie, Alan and Jake Promo Shot
A Two and a Half Men promotional photo of the three principal cast members, Charlie (Charlie Sheen), Alan (Jon Cryer) and Jake (Angus T. Jones).

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Two and a Half Men Quotes

Charlie: You're like an Alzheimer's patient in a whorehouse.
Alan: What do you mean?
Charlie: You're constantly surprised that you're getting screwed, and you don't want to pay for it

Yeah, hi. I'm watching your commercial cash for gold and you just showed a woman selling her wedding ring for $500. No, I don't want to sell gold, I want to meet her. She's hot and we know her marriage isn't working out.

Charlie