Charlie: Why'd you change your friggin hair? Alan: My girlfriend asked me to. Charlie: If your new girlfriend asked you to jump off a bridge, would you? Alan: If she put her tongue in my mouth while she asked me... Charlie: I can't blame you. I once bought a woman a car for the same reason. Alan: She put her tongue in your mouth? Charlie: Sure. Let's say mouth.
Alan: Let me get this one. Charlie: Really? You're not going for the world record? Alan: What are you talking about? Charlie: 1647 meals in a row where you haven't taken your stupid velcro wallet. Alan: You were counting? Charlie: Was I close?