Hugh Hefner swings by Family Guy to give Quagmire some advice after he loses his job.
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After going outside without sunscreen, Stewie becomes obsessed with tanning.
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Peter ends up in a drinking contest with his real father, an Irish man who's the town drunk, in order to prove they're related.
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Stewie ends up in a ski-off in order to win his beloved Rupert back.
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Brian and Quagmire join the police force and end up saving Brian from an obsessed Meg.
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Stewie and Olivia go on a double date with Brian and his girlfriend, Jillian.
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Lois volunteers to teach Chris' sex-ed class when the school is failing in her mind.
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Stewie meets Brian's hot, but dumb girlfriend, Jillian and can't stop ragging on him.
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Stewie signs Brian up for the army and the two of them find themselves shipped off to Iraq.
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Peter ends up using Meg's money to buy himself a super practical tank.
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When Peter's mother gets divorced and starts dating Tom Tucker, Peter begins to look to him as a father figure.
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When Lois rescues Stewie's teddy bear, Rupert, Stewie becomes obsessed with his mother.
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Family Guy Quotes

Stewie: (Comes into the bedroom) Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Mama! Mama! Mama! Ma! Ma! Ma! Ma! Mum! Mum! Mum! Mum! Mummy! Mummy! Mumma! Mumma! Mumma!
Lois: What!?
Stewie: Hi! (Giggling and running out of the room)

How you uh, how you comin' on that novel you're working on? Huh? Gotta a big, uh, big stack of papers there? Gotta, gotta nice little story you're working on there? Your big novel you've been working on for 3 years? Huh? Gotta, gotta compelling protagonist? Yeah? Gotta obstacle for him to overcome? Huh? Gotta story brewing there? Working on, working on that for quite some time? Huh? Yea, talking about that 3 years ago. Been working on that the whole time? Nice little narrative? Beginning, middle, and end? Some friends become enemies, some enemies become friends? At the end your main character is richer from the experience? Yeah? Yeah? No, no, you deserve some time off

Stewie