The fat man and the old lady check themselves in the window one last time before they leave the diner... broken up.
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The Kraken launches her plan into effect and all it takes is Crazy Meg, Alan Thicke, and a storm trooper... okay just some dude in a robot costume.
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Good luck getting this guy to slim down, Robin. He has no reason not, now that he has the girl.
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Man, Barney has really let himself go. The guy needs a major diet, stat!
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How I Met Your Mother Season 5 Episode 7 Quotes

Barney [prerecored on porn tape]: Hello, Ted. If you're watching this tape, and I knew you'd pick this one, you're now in posession of my porn. And this can only mean one of two things: either I'm dead or I'm in a committed relationship. If I'm dead I want you to honor my memory by taking my body to the Hamptons and recreate Weekend at Bernies. I want to dance, go fishing, and I want to have sex with a girl. If on the other hand I'm in a committed relationship, as your best friend I have only one request... for the love of god get me out of it

Your girlfriend? She's your girl.. friend? She's a girl and a friend? Do not humanize the enemy, Ted.

Barney