A picture of Cartman, his mother, and all his potential fathers from the 12th Annual Drunken Barn Dance.
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A picture of Mecha-Streisand terrorizing the poor town of South Park. Only Robert Smith can help!
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Mr. Garrison decides to get a little plastic surgery and soon discovers he no longer wants to teach with his new good looks.
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A picture of Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo, who comes to visit Kyle on Christmas. Nobody believes the crazy bastard.
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When the boys adopt a starving Ethiopian to get a free sports watch, they end up with Starvin Marvin instead.
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New South Park student Damien arranges a boxing match between Jesus and Satan, which the whole town bets on.
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When the folks of South Park become zombies, everyone thinks they just have pinkeye.
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Death comes to visit Grandpa Marsh as he goes through elaborate ways to kill himself.
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South Park Season 1 Quotes

Stan: Hey Cartman, how come the birthday invitation you gave me says "Green Megaman."
Kyle: Yeah, mine says "Red Megaman."
Cartman: Right, that's what your supposed to get me for my birthday.
Stan: DUDE!?!?! You're not supposed to tell people what to give you for your birthday!
Kyle: Yeah, that's weak.
Cartman: Look it's very simple guys. "Green Megaman" goes with "Red Megaman" and "Yellow Megaman" to make the "Ultra Mega Megaman." You have to have all 3 or it doesn't work, see?
Stan: Up yours Cartman, I'll get you whatever the hell I want.
Cartman: Ohh!!! so maybe you don't want to have any of my moms Cake, Pie, and Ice cream then.
Stan: Oh "Gre..Green Megaman" it is.
Cartman: Now as you can see Kenny, you are to get me "Yellow Megaman," that's because the "Yellow Megaman" is the cheapest one and I know how poor your family is.
(Damien walks to table)
Stan: Hey!?!?! what do you think you're doing new kid?
Cartman: Yeah, you can't sit with us weirdo.
Damien: Infidel's!!!! I will turn you all into "Beasts of Burden"!
Kyle: You can't sit with us new kid, go find another table!
(Damien goes and sits with Pip)
Cartman: (sighs) Anyway Kenny, "Yellow Megaman" is only $8.95, so maybe your mom can put it on layaway and make payments in a year, or two.
(Stan, Kyle, and Cartman laugh. Kenny punches Cartman)
Cartman: AYYY!!!!

Kitty: Meow.
Cartman: No kitty, this is my pot-pie.
Kitty: Meow.
Cartman: No KITTY, THIS IS MY POT-PIE! MOM! Kitty's being a dildo!
Liane Cartman: Well then, I know a certain kitty-kitty whose sleeping with mommy tonight.
Cartman: What?