A picture of Cartman, his mother, and all his potential fathers from the 12th Annual Drunken Barn Dance.
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A picture of Mecha-Streisand terrorizing the poor town of South Park. Only Robert Smith can help!
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Mr. Garrison decides to get a little plastic surgery and soon discovers he no longer wants to teach with his new good looks.
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A picture of Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo, who comes to visit Kyle on Christmas. Nobody believes the crazy bastard.
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When the boys adopt a starving Ethiopian to get a free sports watch, they end up with Starvin Marvin instead.
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New South Park student Damien arranges a boxing match between Jesus and Satan, which the whole town bets on.
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When the folks of South Park become zombies, everyone thinks they just have pinkeye.
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Death comes to visit Grandpa Marsh as he goes through elaborate ways to kill himself.
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A picture of the boys taking Kyle's pet elephant to school with them on South Park.
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A picture of Stan and his gay dog Sparky going on Big Gay Al's boat ride.
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Uncle Jimbo and Ned take the boys hunting on a mountain that turns out to be an active volcano.
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Cartman tries to use Weight Gain 4000 to get in shape for receiving an award from Kathie Lee Gifford.
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South Park Season 1 Quotes

Narrator: Who is Eric Cartman's father? Is it Chief Running Water? Or is it Chef? Is it Mephesto? Or that little monkey guy that follows him around? Or is it Mr. Garrison?
Jimbo: Nope. He's gay.
Mr. Garrison: You go to hell! You go to hell and you die!
Narrator: Is it Jimbo?
Jimbo: Daaagh!
Narrator: Or is it Officer Barbrady?
Officer Barbrady: Huh?! Where?!
Narrator: Or could it be Ned?
Ned: Could be.
Narrator: Or Mr. Broflovski??
Kyle: Dad, how could you?!
Narrator: Or is it the 1991 Denver Broncos? The answer is coming on an all-new South Park, in just four weeks.
Cartman: What?! Son of a bitch!!

Kyle: Dude, I have to save Ike! I don't even know what to do!
Stan: Well, we can't do anything now; that fat bitch won't let us!
Ms. Crabtree: WHAT DID YOU SAY?!?
Stan: I said that rabbits eat lettuce.
Ms. Crabtree: Oh. Well, yes, they certainly do...