Two and a Half Men

Thursdays 8:30 PM on CBS
Two and a half men
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Two and a Half Men Season 5 Episode 16 Quotes

Jake: When you marry my grandma, what does that make you to me?
Teddy: Nothing.

Charlie: It's your fifth wedding, Mom. What do you need help with, besides remembering the groom's name?
Evelyn: You know, I'd cut him out of the will if I thought there was a chance he'd outlive me.