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Tess: It's just, I dread this holiday so much. It's the part where my family grills me about my single status and there are no gifts to offset the humiliation.
J.T.: Then don't go. Tell them you're working, which you are. We can boycott the holidays together.
Tess: Just you and me?
J.T.: And some beer and some pizza and some creepy guy's voice.
Tess: Can we start drinking now?
J.T.: Absolutely. This is going to be the best Thanksgiving ever! Non-Thanksgiving.

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