Thursdays 8:30 PM on CBS
Two-and-a-half-men

Alan: Apparently, the earthquake hit Sherman Oaks a lot harder than Malibu.
Charlie: What earthquake?
Alan: What earthquake? About an hour ago. You didn't feel the house shaking?
Charlie: Oh...
Alan: Unbelievable, you actually though that was you?
Charlie: No, I thought it was her, you know, because of me. The good news is, unless they report it on Polish TV I still get the credit


Unrated
Show:
Episode:
Characters:
,
Related Quotes:
Two and a Half Men Quotes, Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 13 Quotes, Charlie Harper Quotes, Alan Harper Quotes
Added by:
Added:

Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 13 Quotes

Charlie [regarding the tongs]: Ah, you better use the wooden ones.
Judith: What's wrong with these?
Charlie: I use those whenever I drop my watch in the toilet.
Judith: This is a regular occurrence?
Charlie: You'd think I'd learn.
Judith: And you keep them in the kitchen?
Charlie: I used to hang them on a little hook in the bathroom, but it freaked some chicks out

Berta [regarding Judith]: What are you, a farm animal?
Charlie: What?
Berta: That is your brother's ex-wife out there.
Charlie: I know who she is. Oh, no, no. She's just staying here because of the earthquake. I'm not. I would never. I couldn't. [Charlie takes a peep at Judith on his deck in her bikini) Okay, maybe I could, but I'm not.
Berta: Yeah, that's what I used to say about my stepbrother, Cousin Dewey

x Close Ad