Homer: Bart, you keep an eye out for the mailman. Just give me some kind of signal.
Bart: Dad, the mailman's here.
Homer: That's a good one. We'll use that.
(A postwoman appears behind Homer)
Bart: No! I mean the mailman's here.
(Homer screams)
Postwoman: Dear God! Are you planning to water the mail?
Homer: I guess it wouldn't do any good to run 'cause you're a mail-lady and you know my name and address and everything, huh?
Postwoman: That's right.
Homer: Well... I'm still going to run.
(Homer runs away)

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The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 22 Quotes

Mr. Burns: (reading Homer's letter) "Dear Mr. Burns. I'm so glad you enjoyed my son's blood, and your card was just great." Why Simpson, you've made my day, you're a true gentlemen.
Homer: Well I-
Mr. Burns: Hello, there's more. (continues reading) "In case you can't tell, I'm being sarcastic. You stink! You are a senile bucktoothed old mummy with bony girl arms and you smell like an elephant's butt!"

(Homer tries to retrieve the angry letter that Bart accidentally put in the mail.)
Homer: Hello, my name is Mr. Burns. I believe you have a letter for me.
P.O. Worker: Okay, Mr. Burns. What's your first name?
Homer: I...don't know.