Tom Tucker: Because of an accident today at the Quahog cable company, all television transmission will be out for an undetermined amount of time. Of course, no one can see this news program, so it doesn't really matter what we say. I'm the lord Jesus Christ. I think I'll go get drunk and beat up some midgets, how about you, Diane?
Diane Simmons: Well, Tom, I just plain don't like black people

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Family Guy Season 1 Episode 2 Quotes, Family Guy Quotes
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Family Guy Season 1 Episode 2 Quotes

Lois: Sweetie, it's broccoli. It's good for you. Now open up for the airplane.
Stewie: Never! Damn the broccoli, damn you, and damn the Wright brothers!

Lois: Honey, it's not going to go away just because you don't like it.
Stewie: Well then, my goal becomes clear. The broccoli must die!