Thursdays 8:30 PM on CBS
Two-and-a-half-men

Alan: Before we got here, this was just a big empty space where you just sat around, got drunk, and had casual sex with women you don't even care about. There was no love, no family, and no meaning.
Charlie: There's a word for that, Alan: Utopia.


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Related Quotes:
Two and a Half Men Quotes, Two and a Half Men Season 5 Episode 7 Quotes, Charlie Harper Quotes, Alan Harper Quotes
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Two and a Half Men Season 5 Episode 7 Quotes

Charlie: You got your food in my refrigerator, your car in my garage, and your stupid, flowered towels in my guest bathroom!
Alan: Hey, those towels are very pretty. They brighten up the whole room.
Charlie: They're gay, and they scream "civil union!"

Charlie: I don't pay you to mock me.
Berta: Charlie, you'd have to pay me not to.

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