Recent Quotes (Page 1985)

Barney: And I thought Pompeii was smoking.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Cam: Shouldn't you get back to Donald? That is the name of your cat, right?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Cam: What are we going to do?
Luke: I could start a fire.
Cam: No! But keep that in your back pocket.
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

Jay: You know, when you get a massage, you sound like a Tijuana prostitute.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Phil: Happy Valenbirthuhhhversary!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Caterer: Hi there. Is your father home?
Luke: I think so. Why?
 • Rating: Unrated

Gloria: I do Jay. Why can't I do you?
Phil: You can... do me.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Lily: You turn into a pumpkin at the sound of police sirens.
 • Rating: Unrated

Charlie: I'm not going to die under your bed.
 • Rating: Unrated

Lily: Yeah, he's smooth, he's hot. He's also a wanted criminal. It makes something as simple as organizing a second date so complicated.
 • Rating: Unrated

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