Recent Quotes (Page 3096)

Ross: Hey Joey, I have to cancel racquetball for tonight. That was Marcel's trainer. He's gonna let me have him for a couple of hours.
Joey: You're blowing me off for a monkey?
Ross: Hey, we can reschedule for Saturday.
Joey: Yeah, unless you hook up with a bunch of pigeons.
 • Rating: Unrated

Susie: (About wearing her panties) How you doing there squirmy?
Chandler: I'm hanging in... and a little out.
 • Rating: Unrated

Susie: All right mister, let's see those panties.
Chandler: All right. (Chandler's pants drop from under the bathroom stall door)
Susie: Ooh. Ooh. But you know what would be even sexier?
Chandler: What?
Susie: If you didn't have your shirt tucked into them.
 • Rating: Unrated

Monica: You know, I gotta admit that I was kinda surprised that you agreed to go on a blind date.
Jean-Claude Van Damme: Normally I would not do it.
Monica: Well, what made you make the exception for me?
Jean-Claude Van Damme: 'Cause Rachel told me you were dying to have a threesome with me and Drew Barrymore. Oh, by the way, Drew has some ground rules.
 • Rating: Unrated

Ross: The zoo told me that my monkey was dead.
Zookeeper: The zoo. You believe everything the zoo tells you?
Ross: That's the only thing the zoo's ever told me.
 • Rating: Unrated

Ross: I'm gonna go visit Marcel at the zoo and surprise him.
Chandler: You know what? I think he will be surprised until he realizes he's a monkey and, you know, not capable of that emotion.
 • Rating: Unrated

Mr. Lipson: Hi, Dean Lipson, zoo administrator. I was told you had a question.
Ross: Well, I, uh, I can't seem to find the monkey I donated last year. He's a capuchin, answers to the name Marcel.
Mr. Lipson: Ah, I'm afraid I have some bad news. Marcel has passed on.
Ross: Oh my God, what happened?
Mr. Lipson: Well he got sick, and then he got sicker, and then he got a little better, but then he died.
Ross: I can't believe this.
Mr. Lipson: I'm sorry, Mr. Geller. But you know, there's an old saying: sometimes monkeys die. It's not a great saying, but it certainly is fitting today.
 • Rating: Unrated

Ross: This is so exciting. I haven't seen my monkey in almost a year.
Chandler: What? You never look down in the shower?
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Joey: This is amazing.
Ross: I know.
Joey: I finally get a part on TV and the monkey's making movies.
 • Rating: Unrated

Chandler: (Joey grabs a frying pan) Yes. Hitting her with a frying pan is a good idea. We might wanna have a backup plan though, just in case she isn't a cartoon.
 • Rating: Unrated

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