Oscar: Not everybody wants to share the painful details of their lives.
Felix: Oh really? Heard of Facebook?

Yeah, okay, I can just sleep at the park. At the park no one nags you or says they've lost all sexual desire because your body feels, quote, like a bag of wet sand dipped in hair.


Charming, isn't it? They put clouds on the ceiling to distract you. The least they could do is put up something interesting like porn.

Dr. Herman

Excuse me. You better find my husband's mother, because one way or another, we're walking out of here with a dead woman!


Sheldon: If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?
Penny: Well, not to steal from the Bible, but turning water into wine sounds pretty good.

Leonard: I'm telling you, you can't create love in a few hours. Right?
Penny: Careful. You're poking at the whole foundation of The Bachelor.

Amy: I just read about an experiment designed to see if you can make two people fall in love in a matter of hours.
Leonard: That doesn't sound right. My research has shown that it takes three to five years of shameless begging.

Donna, you know I love you.


You offered to drop the case in exchange for me?


I care about Donna.


Now finish what we started and find a way to win this case.


I watch you all pull rabbits out of your hats while I sit outside and answer the phones. Then I got these documents and people said I saved the day.