I forgive you, you bastard. Just live.

Laura

Jake: You know what this would be good time for?
Laura: Better health insurance?
Jake: For you to forgive me.
Laura: Forgive you for what?
Jake: Everything. Betraying you, for ruining our marriage.
Laura: Only you would use a brush with death to emotionally manipulate me.
Jake: How am I doing?
Laura: Eat your ice.

Not to tell you how to do your job, but you're doing that wrong. [pointing at pillows] I mean at least for him; I'm sure that there are many people that enjoy the pillow under the neck thing, but he has to have his head slightly tilted or else his sinuses clog and then it's, you know, well, lets just say, it gets ugly. Oh and the blanket [goes over to blankets] cannot touch his skin, sheet only. That's a huge, huge bugaboo for him.

Laura

Billy: He saved that girl.
Laura: Of course he did, chivalrous bastard.

Billy: Laura, I told you I got this.
Laura: You can run point, but me sitting on my ass staring at ceiling tiles won't help Jake.

You're the last person who should give me anything. You got me here. You got me to graduation, to Cal tech. You did it. You're done.

Alex

Now, I didn't tell Cam, because I was embarrassed, but also because I knew -- I knew I would get another job just like that. It's been a month.

Mitchell

Congrats! I'm gonna roll away before you spit on my screen again!

Phil

I just had to plug him in. It was a nice reversal from when I had to pull the plug on my dad in the hospital.

Andy

Manny: I think it's a bold step, and I support you in your journey of self improvement.
Gloria: No, you're not getting your hair straightened.

Maybe something happens when you have a kid that makes you completely lose your mind

Carter

Grant: I was actually thinking of staying here tonight if it was okay...
Elizabeth: Yeah, of course. Yes, that's okay.
Grant: You know, I can't ice my cake until it cools down. And, plus, PopPop spends a lot of time in his underwear.