I've never been daggered. I never knew it was such an agonizing experience. It does help explain why my siblings loathe me.


Zara: You are strong. You are fearless. You are Batman.
Eric: I am Batman.

It is not a contest. It's a matter of the heart. It's about finding true love. And I will win.


To happiness, or as I like to call it, sadness in its early stages.


Caryn: I don't even know why I dated this guy. It's not that this guy had a bad personality. He actually had no personality.
Stosh: I once dated a girl with multiple personalities and they were all terrible. But luckily they all had an amazing body.

Last question, Margaux, and then I start with the cheekbones...


Louise: Victoria Grayson was my own personal guardian angel.
Nolan: Louise-speak. Well, let's put that through Google translate.

Nobody ever tells the full truth, ever.


Hobart: No. Find a way to get along, or you can expect a letter from our lawyer.
Joan: I wonder how many women around here would like to speak to a lawyer. I think the Equal Opportunity Commission has one.
Hobart: Women love it here. You want to threaten us? You'll be all alone.
Joan: No. I think the second I file a complaint, I'll have the ACLU in my office. And Betty Friedan in the lobby with half the women who marched down Fifth Avenue. I guess you didn't see the headline about what happened at Ladies' Home Journal. Or Newsweek.

Emily: If something goes wrong I don't want you to be complicit.
David: 'If something goes wrong?' Look around you. Everything's gone wrong.

[to Louise] I don't know which Victoria Grayson you met but mine was the most manipulative human I've ever known.


Jack: The other night I heard that you came to the airport to tell me not to leave and I just have to know...is that true?
Emily: Yes. I wanted you to stay. I want you to stay.