Penny, there's only one cookie with something in the middle that solves life's problems, and that's an Oreo. Or a Nutter Butter, if you're in a pinch.

Sheldon

Derek: I am calling post-it, Zola, Bailey, the tumors on the wall, ferryboat scrub caps. I thought D.C. was everything. I was wrong. You... you're everything. I love you and I'm not going to stop loving you. I can't live without you. I don't want to live without you, and I'm going to do everything in my power to prove it.
Meredith: I can live without you, but I don't want to. I don't ever want to.

Elijah: [to Sabine] You ever experienced something so profoundly wonderful that when it was taken from you your life felt unbearable?
Sabine: Yes, I have felt that. And I have the scars to prove it.
Elijah: I believe that when you love someone and that person loves you in return you're uniquely vulnerable. They have a power to hurt you that's like nothing else.

She sometimes takes a little pack of mayonnaise and she'll squirt it in her mouth all over. And then she'll take an egg and kind of...mmmm! She calls it a 'mayon-egg.' Are you okay?

George Michael

Jan: All right, well are you gonna take care of this?
Michael: Yeppers.
Jan: What did I tell you about "yeppers?"
Michael: I don't... remember.
Jan: I told you not to say it. Do you remember that?
Michael: Yeesh...

Whatever you do, do not talk to any white people. In Boston, they are the dangerous ones.

Mindy

Think of me like Yoda but instead of being little and green I wear suits and I'm awesome. I'm your bro - I'm Broda!

Barney

Feelings? What am I a hippie at a love-in?

Sheldon

We're all crazy Hales, some of us just hide it better than others.

Nathan

I feel like I only exist in half of your life, and that's not good enough for me.

Caleb

Peggy: You always say, if you don't like what they're saying about you, change the conversation.
Don: To what? What they're saying about us is true!

Marge: Tomorrow night, it might be nice to go out for dinner.
Homer: Tomorrow night? Friday? Pork chop night? Marge! We haven't missed pork chop night since the great pig scare in '87!