You are the love of my life. Everything I have and everything I am is yours. Forever.


Guess what, I have flaws. What are they? Oh, I don't know. I sing in the shower. Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me... No, don't sue me. That is the opposite of the point that I'm trying to make.


Cheryl: What the stupid shit are you doing??
Cyril: You said you wanted watermelon.
Cheryl: Watermelon's red?
Cyril: Yes. How do you not know that?
Cheryl: Who am I? Charles Frederick Andress?

Whatever you do in this life, it's not legendary, unless your friends are there to see it.


You want a love that consumes you. You want passion and adventure, and even a little danger... I want you to get everything you're looking for. But for right now, I want you to forget that this happened. Can't have people knowing I'm in town yet. Goodnight, Elena.


Sharon: A doula is someone who supports you emotionally and physically, and coaches you through the process.
Jake: Oh I see, so sort of like a vaginal Gandalf.

Time is money, money is power, power is pizza, and pizza is knowledge, let’s go!


I can bring tears to your eyes and resurrect the dead. I form in an instant and last a lifetime. What am I?


I started selling drugs when I was 9 years old in Philadelphia. I did it to feed myself. But it was the music that played in my head that kept me alive when I thought I was going to get shot. And it was the melodies that I dreamt about that keep me warm when I was sleeping in the streets.


Someday this pain will be useful to you.


I'm not scared of Hell. It's just Heaven for bad people.

The Doctor

Stewie: (Comes into the bedroom) Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Mama! Mama! Mama! Ma! Ma! Ma! Ma! Mum! Mum! Mum! Mum! Mummy! Mummy! Mumma! Mumma! Mumma!
Lois: What!?
Stewie: Hi! (Giggling and running out of the room)