Abed Quotes (Page 11)
Season 1, Episode 12: "Comparative Religion"
Troy: You're pretty big dude, I bet you have some moves.
Jeff: Yeah I got some theories.
Abed: You've never been in a fight?
Jeff: Technically no. I guess I'm too charming and likeable. Call me a name.
Troy: I can't...
Pierce: You're telling me you've never been punched in the face?
Jeff: No, thank god. This is the money maker.
• Rating: 2.5 / 5.0
Season 1, Episode 11: "The Politics of Human Sexuality"
Troy: That's it, we're arm wrestling.
Abed: Like Stallone in Over the Top? I'm not sure about the rules, don't I need a semi truck and a ten year old son?
• Rating: Unrated
Season 1, Episode 9: "Debate 109"
Abed: That's my newspaper.
Shirley: What do you need the paper for? You knew what was going to happen yesterday, you Middle Eastern magic 8-ball.
• Rating: Unrated
Season 1, Episode 8: "Home Economics"
Abed [to Britta about Jeff]: Draw the tape worm out of him with the bowl of milk that is your sexuality
• Rating: Unrated
Abed: Sometimes I like to pour hot chocolate mix into cold milk and drink it with hot cocoa, I call it special drink
Jeff: And some day you will know it by its true name, diabetes
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Abed: Jeff, did I say anything in my sleep last night about farm animals or Brian Williams?
Jeff: ...I don't think so.
Abed: Cool. Cool, cool, cool. [edit]
• Rating: Unrated
Pierce: Before AIDS, sex was like shaking hands.
Abed: Hence AIDS
• Rating: 4.9 / 5.0
Season 1, Episode 6: "Football, Feminism and You"
Abed [about Jeff and Britta]: Will they or won't they, sexual tension
Jeff: Abed, it make the group uncomfortable when you talk about the group like we're characters in a show you're watching
Abed: That's sort of my gimmick, but we did lean on that pretty hard last week. I can lay low for an episode
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 1, Episode 5: "Advanced Criminal Law"
Troy: I'm president Obama's nephew
Abed: You never mentioned that before
Troy: I didn't know if I could trust you, but now it's time to tell you everything, starting with we invented the Ferrari
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 1, Episode 3: "Introduction to Film"
Britta: Did you do all that to me on purpose? That's not a very nice way to treat your friends
Abed: Well, Britta, it isn't called friend business, it's called show business [lights up a cigarette and leaves the room]
Britta: He's smoking!
Jeff: Honey, let him leave the nest
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
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Total Quotes: 116
