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Crosby: On the topic of your hipness, do you think on Friday you can go untucked, maybe drop a button or so. Just hip it up a little.
Adam: Hip it up.
Crosby: Well, you don't want to go in there looking like a tax auditor.

Brother, we are officially in business.

You know I see what's going to happen here. You're not going to call her and then you're going to ruin The Pancake House for me. Like I don't have enough problems already.

Max: Are you mad at me because I have Asperger's?
Adam: No, Max, I'm not mad at you because you have Asperger's. Never.

The prom is a parent and school sanctioned club med for teenagers!

I'm busy trying to look after my son, trying to look after my family. You're not even on my radar!

I'm not interested in memorizing a bunch of facts that have been polished up to make it look like he's won something.

Mom asked you to call everyone to dinner, will you do it? Seriously, you are such a disappointment. I don't know why you're her favorite.

Amber, life will knock you down more times than you can possibly imagine. Don't knock yourself down.

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