Alan Harper Quotes (Page 4)
Season 10, Episode 5: "That's Not What They Call It in Amsterdam"
Alan: Is that a leaf-blower?
Rose: That is not what they call it in Amsterdam.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Alan: I like you in that red dress, I fell like a bull and I just want to charge.
• Rating: Unrated
Season 10, Episode 4: "You Know What the Lollipop Is For"
Alan: You know how old she is.?
Walden: 18 or 19.
Alan: Well, you might lose a friend but you are not going to jail.
• Rating: Unrated
Season 10, Episode 3: "Four Balls, Two Bats, and One Mitt"
Alan: See, this is why communication is important in a relationship. Two minutes ago, I did not care if you lived or died, but right now..? I love you as no man as ever loved a woman.
• Rating: Unrated
Alan: You complete me; add another chick and I will complete myself.
• Rating: Unrated
Season 10, Episode 2: "A Big Bag of Dog"
Berta: Seems like this house haunted; by an old spirit that does not just want to move.
Alan: Hey , you are not blaming this on me, okay?
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Alan: Women reject me for 100 different reasons. White teeth would reduce that to 99 problems.
• Rating: 4.0 / 5.0
Season 10, Episode 1: "I Changed My Mind About The Milk"
Alan: Can I come live with you?
Evelyn: No
Alan: Oh, come one, Mom, I am going to be homeless, once he marries her; I am going to be living on the street.
Evelyn: Try to pick a street in Beverly Hills, so I visit you
• Rating: Unrated
Alan: Wow, seems like just yesterday, he was an adorable, chubby-cheeked little boy catching a Frisbee on the beach in Santa Monica.
Berta: Now, he is a fuzz-face, buck private catching the clap from a whore in Tijuana.
• Rating: Unrated
Season 9, Episode 24: "Oh Look! Al Qaeda?"
Alan: I love my son, and more importantly, I love my country, which is why I don't think my son should have access to flying bombs, or really any kind of weapon.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
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Total Quotes: 710
