Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern-family

Mitchell: You know I'm surprised this particular foursome doesn't hang out more, considering...
Alex: We're the cultured ones in this family?

Ew it's so sad when parents try. My mom double pierced one of her ears and I'm like "Hello! You're 50."

Haley: Oh my God I'm missing a text.
Alex: It just got real didn't it?

Should you be more worried that Haley has a nurse's uniform in her closet?

Alex: Am I just going to nitpick everyone until they leave me?
Haley: Hey mom found somebody!

Haley: You’re like that guy from the movie who wishes he was never born.
Alex: It’s a Wonderful Life.
Haley: You say that but do you mean it?

She’s so new to our school, she doesn’t even realize that I’m a full social class below her.

Alex: Ok, that's it Grandpa's cheating.
Haley: On Gloria? How could he possibly do better?

Haley: Shouldn't she be playing Words with Friends with friends?
Alex: Grandpa is my friend.
Haley: Of course he is. That's not sad

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