Modern Family
Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABCPopular Alex Dunphy Quotes
You know, instead of trying to force me to wear a dress, why don't you worry about getting Luke to wear some pants?
Gloria: I have a small flower on my ankle, and a tiny, little butterfly on my....thigh.
Alex: How high up?
Gloria: Very high.
Alex: Did you do it to look sexy, no, did you do it for a guy? Does grandpa like it?
Gloria: No, no, and yes
Alex: So did you ever kiss another girl?
Gloria: That's no way to talk to your grandmother
Haley: Hey mom?
Claire: Yeah?
Haley: Can I have forty dollars for lunch?
Claire: Forty dollars?
Haley: I also need a book for school.
Claire: A book?
Haley: I want a dress.
Claire: Do you have any idea what a bad liar you are?
Alex: I'd be more worried that she couldn't come up with a single book title
Alex: Did you know fencing goes back to the 12th century?
Haley: You know what's even nerdier than fencing? knowing when it began
Luke: I don't think you're a nerd, Alex
Alex: Shut up dork
Haley: This is kind of an important party.
Jay: The last thing you to do is insult someone when they invite you.
Haley: Exactly.
[Jay walks out]
Haley: OMG. That was so easy.
Alex: You really don't understand what just happened, do you?
Luke [about reptile on his head]: This feels so weird, what does it eat?
Jungle Tanya: Oh just little boy brains
Alex: Well, at least Luke has nothing to worry about
Alex: Haley, found your jacket.
Haley: WHY IS EVERYONE ON ME?
Alex: Luke has ADHD.
Luke: No I don't... what is it?
Alex: I'd tell you, but you'd wander off before I get to the (Luke wanders off) H.
Phil: It's like a movie theater, library and a music store all rolled in to one... awesome pad.
Alex [to Haley]: A library is a place where people get books
Haley [to Alex]: A movie theater is a place where people go on dates.
I'm just letting you guys know, I'm not taking care of him when you guys die.
If Haley got pregnant, would you ever pretend she got mono for a few months and then tell everyone the baby's yours?
