Alex: She said I was just like her.
Haley: Was she weirdly competitive

Haley: Oh yeah she can wear whatever she wants after I've had it for six months.
Alex: Or I get it automatically if you buy anything that looks like it.

Alex: He keeps asking me to hand him all of the instruments, he wants me to act like a nurse.
Luke: Now it sounds like a date in Haley's life.

Haley: Went to college at a place called MIT.
Alex: M.I.T.
Haley: I know how to spell it.

Claire: Alex what have I told you about staying out past your curfew?
Alex: I need to do it more often.

What converts this conversation into over?

It's like scrabble with Haley. After awhile you're just playing against yourself.

Alex: You maybe wanna take a shift carrying this dry ice?
Gloria: No I just had a baby.
Alex: I watched you carry Manny to bed.

Haley: Dad tried to fix all our problems and instead ruined all our lives.
Alex: Nightmare.
Claire: You girls are so dramatic. Do I need to call you a wambulance?

Kenny: Hey I don't think we've met I'm Kenny.
Alex: And I'm disgusted.

Alex: Hey are you sure you don't wanna play The Hunger Games with all of us?
Haley: My whole life is a hunger game, why do you think I'm so mean to you?

There's not one embarrassing photo of Haley. Even her mugshots were cut.