Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern-family

Haley: This is just like last year when you wouldn't take off those skinny jeans.
Alex: Woudn't or couldn't?
Phil: Hey I looked hot!

You know what I'll never forget, the time my dad spent an entire day trying to create a special memory for me. Or when a pregnant lady slipped in my vomit.

Alex: Dear Miss Dunphy, we regret to inform you...
Haley: What? Don't leave me hanging!

Claire: Hey how come you guys haven't accepted my friend requests?
Haley: I didn't know you were on Facebook.
Alex: Yeah you said it was only for teenagers or people who wanted to have affairs.

The only stage you're going to be jumping to will have a pole on it!

I think somebody has a man crush.

I think it's cool you're running for town office. It's totally nerdy but that's kind of my thing.

First get a mirror, then you're gonna look into it and you're gonna see a crazy woman. She needs your help.

Okay just because my uncle is clearly gay, doesn't mean he'd ever want your tacky pink tree. And frankly, we'd rather throw some lights on our coat rack than have to deal with knuckledraggers like you, today of all days...December 16th.

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