Modern Family

Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern family
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Okay just because my uncle is clearly gay, doesn't mean he'd ever want your tacky pink tree. And frankly, we'd rather throw some lights on our coat rack than have to deal with knuckledraggers like you, today of all days...December 16th.

You have your fans, I have mine. And one day, your fans are gonna work for my fans.

Consider yourself lucky you didn't just get, like, felt up by your mom.

I let down my mom and dad today. And even worse, I let down my teacher.

Haley: You're a freshman, what are you doing in second year math?
Alex: You're a senior, what are you still doing in second year math?
Haley: Not still, again!

Is it one more year or when you leave for college, because those happen to be two different things.

Alex: Could you L a little less O L? Can't you see what I'm trying to do here?
Haley: Die alone?

It was supposed to be special; someone with a high GPA and bright future, not a Mario brother!

I guess what I'm trying to say is, "Don't stop believing. Get this party started."

Haley: If you do this you'll be a social piranha.
Alex: Yes, I'll be an Amazonian carnivorous fish.

Alex: Mahatma Gandhi went on a hunger strike to stand up for what he believed in.
Haley: That's because no one would eat with him in the cafeteria.

Alex: Dad, we haven't had lunch yet.
Phil: Neither have half the kids in Africa. Stop yappin' and get back to work.

Displaying quotes 49 - 60 of 79 in total

Modern Family Quotes

What could be more natural than your mother’s tongue in your ear?

Gloria

It's a body spray called Sex Grenade. One of the divorced dad's in the hotel recommended it.

Luke