Tuesdays 10:00 PM on FX
Sons-of-anarchy

Chibs: Jackie boy, you just advanced race relations in Ireland by 50 years.
Tig: And half a million dollars.

Tara: That's good. Alcohol and opiates? Next time I'll bring the defibrillator.
Tig: Oh I'd love me some zap and tickle.

Not the hair, man. Not the hair.

Tig

Tigg: Why are we pink?
Bobby: Come on Tigg. You love pink.

Leroy's Replacement: Is that Leroy?
August: Most of him. Little b-tch was screaming so loud I kind of lost my sh-t. Congratulations, you in charge.
Leroy's Replacement: No wait wait, what if I don't want to be in charge?
August: Rise to it brother. With great power, comes great responsibility.
Leroy's Replacement: I ain't Spider-Man N--ga.

Roosevelt: One innocent get's hurt and I make Pope look like an altar boy, you understand?
Chibs: I see what you did there. I love Catholic jokes.
Tig: You know, remember the two nuns...?

Tig: Oh come on there's nothing wrong with the occasional skank.
Jax: Time to pull out, I wanna go home.

Clay: Where is everybody?
Tig: Chibs and Hap went home, haven't seen Bobby or Juice, I think Jax finally tracked down Ope and Miles and Kozik are dead.

Tig: I thought you said you drugged the meat?
Juice: I did.
Tig: Fu*k, there was foam in its mouth.
Juice: That thing should be dead. I dosed it like two grams.
Tig: Grams of what?
Juice: Crank.
Tig: You fed crystal to a killer dog, man? Are you retarded?
Juice: No.

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