The Big Bang Theory

Thursdays 8:00 PM on CBS
The big bang theory
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Sheldon: Ugh! English pudding. Y-You get yourself all excited for pudding, and here comes a cake with raisins in it. I'm not going.
Amy: You're going.
Sheldon: Why do you hate me?
Amy: I don't hate you. I love you.
Sheldon: Well, you call it love, but it has a lot of raisins in it.

Amy: Sheldon, there's something else I've been wanting to say, but before I do, I just... I want you to know that you don't have to say it back.I know you're not ready, and I don't want you to say it just because social convention dictates...
Sheldon: I love you, too.
Amy: You said it.
Sheldon: There's no denying I have feelings for you that can't be explained in any other way. I briefly considered that I had a brain parasite. But that seems even more far-fetched. The only conclusion was love.

Not to mention, your acting career is going south like Sherman. Read about it in your book.

Penny: Wil Wheaton is Sheldon's mortal enemy.
Amy: Mortal enemy?
Penny: Mm-hmm.
Amy: Sheldon, I know you are a bit of a left-handed monkey wrench but... you really have a mortal enemy?
Sheldon: In fact, I have 61 of them.

You think that's bad. In college, I passed out at a frat party and woke up with more clothes on.

You don't have to be strong for me. Now let's talk about Priya that man stealing bitch.

Amy: This year's donations may go to, say, the geology department.
Sheldon: Oh dear, not the dirt people.

I obviously have the flu, coupled with sudden on-set Tourette's Syndrome.

Bernadette: Leonard's really one of a kind.
Amy: Saying that while holding a snowflake is a bit heavy-handed don't you think?

Good news! Thanks to you I was able to make a rhesus monkey cry like a disgraced televangelist.

Until you manage to upload your intelligence into a self-sustaining, orbiting satellite equipped with high-speed internet and a cloaking device, you will be dependent on the human race.

I'm regretting my earlier cattiness; she's an absolute delight.

Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 173 in total

TBBT Quotes

Penny: Here's a question-- as an alien pretending to be human, are you planning to engage in any post-prom mating rituals with Amy?
Sheldon: There are post-prom mating rituals?
Penny: Not always. Unless your date drives a van with an air mattress, then always.
Sheldon: Well, if it's part of the prom experience, then I'm open to it.
Penny: You're kidding.
Sheldon: I may be an alien, but I have urges.If Amy wants to copulate by firing her eggs into space, well, then, I will happily catch them with the reproductive sac on my upper flermin. I'm not the best at reading facial cues, but I can see that you're a little turned on.

Penny, there's only one cookie with something in the middle that solves life's problems, and that's an Oreo. Or a Nutter Butter, if you're in a pinch.

Sheldon