Thursdays 8:00 PM on CBS
The-big-bang-theory

If you'd let me pierce your brain with a hot needle in the right place you'd be happy all the time.

I obviously have the flu, coupled with sudden on-set Tourette's Syndrome.

Granted, Penny, your secondary sexual characteristics are reasonably bodacious, but Priya is highly educated, she's an accomplished professional, and she comes from the culture that literally wrote the book on neat ways to have sex. Whereas you on the other hand are a community college dropout who comes from the culture that wrote the book on tipping cows.

Until you manage to upload your intelligence into a self-sustaining, orbiting satellite equipped with high-speed internet and a cloaking device, you will be dependent on the human race.

Amy: This year's donations may go to, say, the geology department.
Sheldon: Oh dear, not the dirt people.

You don't have to be strong for me. Now let's talk about Priya that man stealing bitch.

I'm prone to night terrors, so if I wake up kicking and screaming, don't panic. Just pin me down and stroke my hair and I'll be fine.

Amy: I have potential for sexual arousal.
Sheldon: A cross we all must bear.

I'm regretting my earlier cattiness; she's an absolute delight.

Displaying quotes 1 - 9 of 155 in total