Thursdays 8:00 PM on CBS
The-big-bang-theory

Amy: Can we maybe put the phones down and have an actual human conversation?
Sheldon: We can, but thanks to Steve Jobs, we don't have to.

I obviously have the flu, coupled with sudden on-set Tourette's Syndrome.

Granted, Penny, your secondary sexual characteristics are reasonably bodacious, but Priya is highly educated, she's an accomplished professional, and she comes from the culture that literally wrote the book on neat ways to have sex. Whereas you on the other hand are a community college dropout who comes from the culture that wrote the book on tipping cows.

Until you manage to upload your intelligence into a self-sustaining, orbiting satellite equipped with high-speed internet and a cloaking device, you will be dependent on the human race.

Amy: This year's donations may go to, say, the geology department.
Sheldon: Oh dear, not the dirt people.

You don't have to be strong for me. Now let's talk about Priya that man stealing bitch.

I'm prone to night terrors, so if I wake up kicking and screaming, don't panic. Just pin me down and stroke my hair and I'll be fine.

I'm regretting my earlier cattiness; she's an absolute delight.

Good news! Thanks to you I was able to make a rhesus monkey cry like a disgraced televangelist.

Bernadette: Leonard's really one of a kind.
Amy: Saying that while holding a snowflake is a bit heavy-handed don't you think?

Amy: I have potential for sexual arousal.
Sheldon: A cross we all must bear.

You do understand that it will distract you from the rich variety of sweet loving that your ex-boyfriend is currently receiving from the fiery jewel of Mumbai.

Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 155 in total

TBBT Quotes

Howard: Attention people of Earth: Tonight, there will be two moons in the sky.

Sheldon: Why do you have the Chinese character for "soup" tattooed on your right buttock?
Penny: It's not "soup," it's "courage."
Sheldon: No it isn't. But I suppose it does take courage to demonstrate that kind of commitment to soup.
Penny: How'd you see it? You said you wouldn't look.
Sheldon: Sorry. As I told you, the hero always peeks.

x Close Ad