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If you're keeping him, I've got a cage you can borrow. One of the test monkeys slipped on a banana peel and broke his neck. It was both tragic and hysterical.

Whee! Ooh, finally someone found second base.

I'm just saying, second base is right there.

Amy: At this moment, I find myself craving human intimacy and physical contact.
Sheldon: Oh, boy.

Sheldon, sometimes you forget, I'm a lady. And, with that comes an estrogen-fueled need to page through thick glossy magazines that make me hate my body.

Amy: Sheldon, is it possible that your foul mood -- or, to use the clinical term, bitchiness -- is because your mother isn't making you a priority?
Sheldon: No. Or, to use the clinical term: "nuh-uh."

Sheldon: This will just take a moment, it's on a five and a quarter inch floppy.
Amy: A floppy disk?
Sheldon: Well, I started the list when I was nine.

Penny: Wil Wheaton is Sheldon's mortal enemy.
Amy: Mortal enemy?
Penny: Mm-hmm.
Amy: Sheldon, I know you are a bit of a left-handed monkey wrench but... you really have a mortal enemy?
Sheldon: In fact, I have 61 of them.

Amy: If it makes you feel any better, the only person who signed my yearbook was my mother.
Leonard: Aww.
Amy: "Dear, Amy. Self-respect and a hymen are better than friends and fun. Love, Mom."

Amy: Should I go? I've been told, sometimes, I overstay my welcome.
Leonard: Wha ... who told you that?
Amy: Well, most recently my gynecologist.

Sheldon: Name your price.
Amy: Kiss me where I've never been kissed before.
Sheldon: You mean like Salt Lake City?
Amy: Nevermind.

You can't blame yourself. When your prefrontal cortex fails to make you happy promiscuity rewards you with the needed flood of dopamine. We, neurobiologists, refer to this as the skank reflex.

Displaying quotes 121 - 132 of 155 in total

TBBT Quotes

Howard: Attention people of Earth: Tonight, there will be two moons in the sky.

Sheldon: Why do you have the Chinese character for "soup" tattooed on your right buttock?
Penny: It's not "soup," it's "courage."
Sheldon: No it isn't. But I suppose it does take courage to demonstrate that kind of commitment to soup.
Penny: How'd you see it? You said you wouldn't look.
Sheldon: Sorry. As I told you, the hero always peeks.

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