The Big Bang Theory

Thursdays 8:00 PM on CBS
The big bang theory
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Amy: I'm sorry, but "Gollum" and "Flakey" are not acceptable.
Sheldon: Well, you don't like "Princess Corncob," you don't like "Fester" -- you're just impossible to please.

Penny: I can't believe Leonard is spending hundred of dollars on scalped tickets.
Amy: Last week, you spent that on a little dress.
Penny: Yeah, but those tickets only get him into Comic-Con. That dress gets me into anywhere I want.

Howard: Yeah, he's nice because he likes you.
Amy: What? No he doesn't.
Raj: He brought you a pretty rock.
Amy: So? He does that every day----Oh.

Howard: A mineral and rock show? That would be awful even without Bert.
Amy: So what am I supposed to do now?
Raj: Prepare your uterus for his gigantic offspring

Amy: I'm just going to go find him and be brutally honest.
Raj: He'll be so upset. He'll probably climb up the Empire State Building and start swatting at planes.

Amy: What's the show?
Penny: Um, NC ... II .... Or, you know, NCSTD ... I don't know, it's the one with all the letters and I'm gonna be on it!

Amy: Can we maybe put the phones down and have an actual human conversation?
Sheldon: We can, but thanks to Steve Jobs, we don't have to.

Sheldon: I've seen things. Lady things.
Amy: Listen to me. That is not the way they usually look.
Sheldon: It doesn't matter. This is no way to make new humans. People coming out of people. Some kind of dirty magic show.

Sheldon: The second I go out of town you throw a Christmas party without me?
Amy: Yeah, kind of.
Sheldon: That's so thoughtful. You guys are the best.

Amy: It's a beautiful night. Why don't you and I go for a nice walk together?
Sheldon: Everything is just sex with you, isn't it?
Raj: Sheldon, I think you might find the support you're looking for, if you realize that relationships are a give and take. She can only be there for you as much as you are for her.
Amy: Thank you, Rajesh.
Raj: And, Amy, you need to be patient with Sheldon, instead of pressuring him to accept intimacy on your terms.
Amy: You should probably go.

Penny: "Want of Understanding"? What does that even mean?
Amy: Ding, ding, ding. We have a winner.

Amy: No traffic. We're sailing.
Sheldon: Yep. Like we're on a ship. Coming from Africa to America.
Amy: Sheldon, that's completely inappropriate. You can't keep comparing yourself to a slave.
Sheldon: Yes, Miss Amy.

Displaying quotes 25 - 36 of 164 in total

TBBT Quotes

Penny, there's only one cookie with something in the middle that solves life's problems, and that's an Oreo. Or a Nutter Butter, if you're in a pinch.

Sheldon

Raj: Okay, here's another one: if a zombie bites a vampire, and the vampire bites a human, does the human become a vampire or a zombie? Or, a zompire?

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