The Big Bang Theory

Thursdays 8:00 PM on CBS
The big bang theory
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Amy: I'm sorry you're upset. You know, Sheldon, sometimes people seek the comfort of physical contact in moments like this.
Sheldon: I am not flying back to Texas just so my mom can give me a hug.

Seriously, is that tape? Like, how are they staying up like that?

You're all wasting your time. Sheldon is the most qualified for the job, and no amount of gravity-defying bosom's going to change that.

If you'd let me pierce your brain with a hot needle in the right place you'd be happy all the time.

Amy: Used me as a human shield?
Sheldon: I panicked. He looked taller than usual.

His quirks just make you love him more. ... Someone please agree with me.

Amy: Sheldon ... all Snow White needs is one small kiss to wake up.
Sheldon: Heard you the first time.

The world of science needs more women, but from an young age we girls are encouraged to care more about the way we look than the power of our minds.

Bernadette: We can't all be Cinderella.
Amy: Then, how do we decide?
Bernadette: Well, it's simple. This was my idea. I'm driving. I'm Cinderella. You bitches got a problem with that we can stop the car right now.

Yeah, yeah, you want a cigarette. Well, I'd like a normal boyfriend. Deal with it.

A tumor would explain a lot.

Then, what the hell, Sheldon!?!

Displaying quotes 73 - 84 of 173 in total

TBBT Quotes

Penny: Here's a question-- as an alien pretending to be human, are you planning to engage in any post-prom mating rituals with Amy?
Sheldon: There are post-prom mating rituals?
Penny: Not always. Unless your date drives a van with an air mattress, then always.
Sheldon: Well, if it's part of the prom experience, then I'm open to it.
Penny: You're kidding.
Sheldon: I may be an alien, but I have urges.If Amy wants to copulate by firing her eggs into space, well, then, I will happily catch them with the reproductive sac on my upper flermin. I'm not the best at reading facial cues, but I can see that you're a little turned on.

Penny, there's only one cookie with something in the middle that solves life's problems, and that's an Oreo. Or a Nutter Butter, if you're in a pinch.

Sheldon