The Office

Andy Bernard Quotes (Page 11)

Andy: Literally every song is better a cappella. Name a song.
Dwight: Cherry Pie, Warrant.
Andy: Better a cappella!
Dwight: No! Really?
Andy: Yeah. Name another.
Dwight: Enter Sandman, Metallica.
Andy: Better a cappella.
Dwight: Rebel Yell, Billy Idol
Andy: Aw!! Way better a cappella
Dwight: Really?
Andy: Yeah.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Dwight: Well, a little bit of blood rushed into mine as well, so where does that leave us?
Andy: The last thing I want to do, is step on your funk man.
Dwight: And I, yours. So I will cede her to you.
Andy: No, that's ridiculous.
Dwight: No no no.
Andy: Look you've been here longer, and besides, I'm a better wingman than I am a boyfriend so-
Dwight: Look I just want you and I to hang out so, you know ...
 • Rating: Unrated

Dwight: Hey buddy, what are you up to?
Andy: Um, nerthing?
Dwight: Listen, when I saw you talking to Erin earlier, I noticed that your pupils dilated, and your skin flushed, and I'm assuming, a little bit of blood rushed into your penis.
Andy: Pffft.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Andy: The whole office feels darker, you know? It's just a sad dark day.
Phyllis: Andy, he's gone.
Andy: I know.
Phyllis: You don't have to kiss his ass anymore.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: I'm starting my own paper company.
Andy: No way!?
Michael: Yeah.
Andy: In this climate?
Michael: Yeah. In all climates. It's going to be worldwide. And I'm looking for some talented salesmen to join me. That's where you come in.
Andy: Ehh... well it's a very intriguing concept, isn't it? Um... hmmm... Michael is starting his own paper company. What do you think about that?
Dwight: Your own paper company.
Michael: Can you believe it? Well, we'll see, we'll see. It's just a, just a nugget of an idea right now so
Dwight: Right...
Michael: Potential, lots of potential. yes.
Dwight: What a courageous venture.
Michael: It's... it's very courageous, very exciting. Um...
Dwight: Location is hard for me, with the farm and the responsibilities...
Michael: That's what I was thinking, with the farm, so... You getting to wherever I'm gonna put my thing.
Dwight: Okay. So yeah.
Michael: So think about it. Lets put a pin in it for now.
Dwight: You know, I would love to put a pin in that.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: Oh! Hey. What is this about?
Andy: Um, you know, cause your leaving and so, it's a farewell...
Michael: Oh.
Andy: I hope I get to work with you someday again.
Michael: Me too, me too. Is this wine?
Andy: Ah... busted. Yes.
Michael: I already have wine.
Andy: Oh.
 • Rating: Unrated

Stanley: Maybe you should go into your office, close the door, and make some calls about jobs?
Michael: I have a job.
Andy: For four more days.
Pam: Do you have any leads on a job?
Michael: Pam, what you don't understand is that at my level you just don't look in the want-ads for a job. You are head-hunted.
Jim: You called any headhunters?
Michael: Any good headhunter knows I am available.
 • Rating: Unrated

Charles: I will walk away.
Michael: I'm gonna walk away.
Andy: Stop doing that!
Michael: I'm kidding around, wow! Relax, everybody, it's just a joke. It's fine. Boy, so touchy. PPC, let's continue our morning meeting in the conference room.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: This little hell-raiser is Angela. She has slept with a bunch of different guys in the office. One over there, in the orange [points to Andy]
Andy: Hey-o!
Michael: There you go! Where's the other?
Charles: You know, Michael, I don't need to know everyone's sexual history.
Michael: Well, perfect, because we have now arrived at Kevin and he has no sexual history.
Kevin: Hey!
 • Rating: Unrated

Andy: [Jim, Andy and Pam all talking over each other] ...turn into this black and carbon brick-where this barbeque sauce of shame and rage and two hot people with a perfect relationship would not understand that.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

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