Robert: You want a three and a half day weekend for Columbus Day?
Andy: Yes I do.
Robert: And you are aware Columbus and his legions committed genocide against an entire civilization of Native Americans?
Andy: I don't care.

Just to show you I'm being fair, you had Gabe in the losers column...I think that is astute. Good call.

Andy: Where'd you learn to puppet like that?
Erin: I've done it all my life.

Gabe: Andy do you like being alone with me right now?
Andy: No, this is horrifying.
Gabe: I don't like being alone with me either.

I think if he were sexist I'd be able to tell. I took a crap load of women's studies courses at Cornell.

Andy: You know I'm the worst salesman here right?
Michael: But you're the best salesman on the inside.
Phyllis: What does that even mean?
Michael: You sold us all on Andy, a product that nobody wanted.

Kevin: When I was a kid I was on "Dallas."
Andy: Really?
Kevin: Yeah. We missed our connecting flight so we spent the entire day on Dallas. Then we spent a week on Hawaii. I was on heaven.

If you donated my computer to Africa, it would become famous as the slowest computer in Africa.

You got problems? My TV don't work.

Ryan: Yes. Yes, I'll do it.
Andy: Alright! Thank you so much. It's gonna be awesome.
Ryan: And if I flake, I flake.

I can't have this go badly. I'm a terrible salesman, and I haven't been making very many sales lately...or ever. This is my only idea on how to turn things around. If it goes badly, I might lose my job. Which would suck, because this is the only job I've ever been good at.

I get super flexible when I'm nervous.

Displaying quotes 37 - 48 of 258 in total

The Office Quotes

I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them.

Andy

Guess what, I have flaws. What are they? Oh, I don't know. I sing in the shower. Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me... No, don't sue me. That is the opposite of the point that I'm trying to make.

Michael
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